He was a great big child, wandering through life! The young Latin wishes
to impress you with his ability to look after himself. General idiocy
of demeanour, on the other hand, is the fashionable English style. This
young man was six feet one, with a handsome beak in front of his face,
meant for a super-Emersonian mildness. His “wide awake” was large, larger
than Hobson’s. Innumerable minor Tennysons had planted it on his head, or
bequeathed a desire for it to this ultimate Dick of long literary line.
His family was allied to much Victorian talent. But, alas, thought Tarr,
how much worse it is when the mind gets thin than when the blood loses
its body, in merely aristocratic refinement. Intellectual aristocracy in
the fifth generation!—but Tarr gazed at the conclusive figure in front
of him, words failing. Words failed, too, for maintaining conversation
with it. He soon got up, and left, his first _apéritif_ at Montmartre
unsatisfactory.
He did not take possession of his new life with very much conviction.
After dinner he went to a neighbouring music hall, precariously amused,
soothed by the din. But he eventually left with a headache. The
strangeness of the streets, cafés, and places of entertainment depressed
him deeply. Had it been an absolutely novel scene, he would have found
stimulus in it. But it was like a friend grown indifferent, or something
perfectly familiar with the richness of habit taken out of it. Tarr was
gregarious in the sense that usually he liked his room and some familiar
streets with their traces of familiar men. And where more energetic
spirit suggested some truer solitude to him, he would never have sought
it where a vestige of inanimate friendship remained.
Here, where he had chosen to live, he appeared as though fallen in some
intermediate negative existence. Unusually for him, he felt alone. _To be
alone_ was essentially a nondescript, lowered, and unreal state for him.
The following morning Tarr woke, his legs rather cramped and tired, and
not thoroughly rested. But as soon as he was up, work came quite easily.
He got his paints out, and without beginning on his principal canvas,
took up a new and smaller one by way of diversion. Squaring up a drawing
of three naked youths sniffing the air, with rather worried Greek faces
and heavy nether limbs, he stuck it on the wall with pins and drew his
camp easel up alongside it. He squared up his canvas on the floor with
a walking-stick, and fixed it on the easel. To get a threadlike edge a
pencil had to be sharpened several times.
By the end of the afternoon he had got a witty pastiche on the way. Two
colours principally had been used, mixed in piles on two palettes: a
smoky, bilious saffron, and a pale transparent lead. The significance of
the thing depended first on the psychology of the pulpy limbs, strained
dancers’ attitudes and empty faces; secondly, the two colours and the
simple yet contorted curves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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