Catching at the professional figure his manner had conjured up, he ran
his further remarks into that mould. The presence of his watch in his
hand had brought some image of the family physician or gouty attorney. It
all centred round the watch, and her interest in the time of day.
“I have found that this was only another fraud on my too credulous
sensibility.” He smiled with professional courtesy. “At sight of you, my
mood evaporated. But what I want to talk about is what is left. It would
be well to bring our accounts up to date. I’m afraid the reckoning is
enormously against me. You have been a criminally indulgent partner⸺”
He had now got the image down to the more precise form of two partners,
perhaps comfortable wine merchants, going through their books.
“My dear boy, I know that. You needn’t trouble to go any further. But why
are you going into these calculations, and sums of profit and loss?”
“Because my sentimental finances, if I may use that term, are in a bad
state.”
“Then they only match your worldly ones.”
“In my worldly ones I have no partner,” he reminded her.
She cast her eyes about in swoops, full of self-possessed wildness.
“I exonerate you, Sorbet,” she said, “you needn’t go into details. What
is _yours_ and what is _mine_. My God! What does it matter? Not much!”
“I know you to be generous⸺”
“Leave that then! Leave these calculations! All that means so _little_
to me! I feel at the end of my strength—_au bout de force_!” She always
heaved this out with much energy. “If you’ve made up your mind to go—do
so, Sorbet. I release you! You owe me nothing. It was all my fault. But
spare me a reckoning. I can’t stand any more⸺”
“No, I insist on being responsible. We can’t leave things upside down—our
books in an endless muddle, our desks open, and just walk away for
ever—and perhaps set up shop somewhere else?”
“I do not feel in any mood to ‘set up shop somewhere else,’ I can assure
you!”
The unbusinesslike element in the situation she had allowed to develop
for obvious reasons. She now resisted his dishonest attempt to set this
right, and benefit first, as he had done, by disorder, and lastly by
order.
“We can’t, in any case, improve matters by talking. I—I, you needn’t fear
for me, Sorbet. I can look after myself, only don’t let us wrangle,” with
appealing gesture and saintlily smiling face, “let us part friends. Let
us be worthy of each other.”
Bertha always opposed to Tarr’s images her Teutonic lyricism, usually
repeating the same phrases several times.
This was degenerating into their routine of wrangle. Always confronted by
this imperturbable, deaf and blind “generosity,” the day would end in the
usual senseless “draw.” His words still remained unsaid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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