At this point of her story she would hint, by ambiguous hesitation, that
she, in truth, had been ready even for this sacrifice: had made it, if
her hearers wished! She would imply rather that from modesty—not wanting
to appear _too_ “noble”—she refrained from telling them.
It is true that for such a confession she had many precedents. Only
a week ago Fräulein Van Bencke herself, inflating proudly her stout
handsome person, had told them that while in Berlin she had allowed a
young painter to kiss her: she believed “that the caresses of a pure
woman would be helpful to him at that juncture of his life.” But this had
not been, it was to be supposed, in the middle of the street. No one had
ever seen, or ever would see, the young painter in question, or the kiss.
Busy with these plans, Bertha had not much time to notice Kreisler’s
further deportment. She came across him occasionally, and keyed her solid
face into an intimate flush and such mask as results from any sickly
physical straining. “_Poor_ mensch!”
Soltyk surprised one Anglo-Saxon partner after another with his wonderful
English—unnecessarily like the real thing. He went about surprising
people in a cold, tireless way, exhibiting no signs of pleasure, except
as much as was testified to by his action, merely.
Kreisler saw him with Anastasya only twice. On those occasions he could
not, on the strength of Soltyk’s attitude, pin him down as a rival. Yet
he was thirsting for conventional figures. His endless dissatisfaction
and depression could only be satisfied by _active_ things, _unlike_
itself. Soltyk’s self-possessed and masterly signs of distinguished
camaraderie depressed Kreisler very much. The Russian _had been there
once_ at the critical moment, and was, more distantly, an attribute of
Volker. He did not like him. How it would satisfy him to dig his fingers
into that flesh, and tear it like thick cloth! He was “for it”; he was
going out. He was being helped off by things. Why did he not _shout_? He
longed to _act_: the rusty machine had a thirst for action. His energies
were repudiating their master.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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