DORINE No, no, a daughter must obey her father, Though he should want to make her wed a monkey. Besides, your fate is fine. What could be better! You'll take the stage-coach to his little village, And find it full of uncles and of cousins, Whose conversation will delight you. Then You'll be presented in their best society. You'll even go to call, by way of welcome, On Mrs. Bailiff, Mrs. Tax-Collector, Who'll patronise you with a folding-stool. There, once a year, at carnival, you'll have Perhaps--a ball; with orchestra--two bag-pipes; And sometimes a trained ape, and Punch and Judy; Though if your husband ... MARIANE Oh, you'll kill me. Please Contrive to help me out with your advice. DORINE I thank you kindly. MARIANE Oh! Dorine, I beg you ... DORINE To serve you right, this marriage must go through. MARIANE Dear girl! DORINE No. MARIANE If I say I love Valere ... DORINE No, no. Tartuffe's your man, and you shall taste him. MARIANE You know I've always trusted you; now help me ... DORINE No, you shall be, my faith! Tartuffified. MARIANE Well, then, since you've no pity for my fate Let me take counsel only of despair; It will advise and help and give me courage; There's one sure cure, I know, for all my troubles. (She starts to go.) DORINE There, there! Come back. I can't be angry long. I must take pity on you, after all. MARIANE Oh, don't you see, Dorine, if I must bear This martyrdom, I certainly shall die. DORINE Now don't you fret. We'll surely find some way. To hinder this ... But here's Valere, your lover. SCENE IV VALERE, MARIANE, DORINE VALERE Madam, a piece of news--quite new to me-- Has just come out, and very fine it is. MARIANE What piece of news? VALERE Your marriage with Tartuffe. MARIANE 'Tis true my father has this plan in mind. VALERE Your father, madam ... MARIANE Yes, he's changed his plans, And did but now propose it to me. VALERE What! Seriously? MARIANE Yes, he was serious, And openly insisted on the match. VALERE And what's your resolution in the matter, Madam? MARIANE I don't know. VALERE That's a pretty answer. You don't know? MARIANE No. VALERE No? MARIANE What do you advise? VALERE I? My advice is, marry him, by all means. MARIANE That's your advice? VALERE Yes. MARIANE Do you mean it? VALERE Surely. A splendid choice, and worthy of your acceptance. MARIANE Oh, very well, sir! I shall take your counsel. VALERE You'll find no trouble taking it, I warrant. MARIANE No more than you did giving it, be sure. VALERE I gave it, truly, to oblige you, madam. MARIANE And I shall take it to oblige you, sir. Dorine (withdrawing to the back of the stage) Let's see what this affair will come to. VALERE So, That is your love? And it was all deceit When you ...