Manners and customs -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
Carpenter gently urged the young man into the Algedian cab ... which
reeked. Michael held his nose, but his mentor shook his head. "No, no!
Tpiu Number Five is the most esteemed aroma on Algedi. It would break
the driver's heart if he thought you didn't like it. You wouldn't want
to be had up for ego injury, would you?"
"Of course not," Michael whispered weakly.
"Brunettes are darker and blondes are fairer," the advideo informed
him, "when they wash out their hair with shampoos made on Chara."
After a time, Michael got more or less used to Tpiu Number Five and
was able to take some interest in the passing landscape. Portyork,
the biggest spaceport in the United Universe, was, of course, the
most cosmopolitan city--cosmopolitan in its architecture as well as
its inhabitants. Silver domes of Earth were crowded next to the tall
helical edifices of the Venusians.
"You'll notice that the current medieval revival has even reached
architecture," Carpenter pointed out. "See those period houses in the
Frank Lloyd Wright and Inigo Jones manner?"
"Very quaint," Michael commented.
Great floating red and green balls lit the streets, even though it was
still daylight, and long scarlet-and-emerald streamers whipped out
from the most unlikely places. As Michael opened his mouth to inquire
about this, "We now interrupt the commercials," the advideo said, "to
bring you a brand new version of one of the medieval ballads that are
becoming so popular...."
"I shall scream," stated Carpenter, "if they play _Beautiful Blue
Deneb_ just once more.... No, thank the Wise Ones, I've never heard
this before."
"Thuban, Thuban, I've been thinking," sang a buxom Betelgeusian, "what
a Cosmos this could be, if land masses were transported to replace the
wasteful sea."
"I guess the first thing for me to do," Michael began in a businesslike
manner, "is to get myself a room at a hotel.... What have I said now?"
"The word _hotel_," Carpenter explained through pursed lips, "is
not used in polite society any more. It has come to have unpleasant
connotations. It means--a place of dancing girls. I hardly think...."
"Certainly not," Michael agreed austerely. "I merely want a lodging."
"That word is also--well, you see," Carpenter told him, "on Zaniah it
is unthinkable to go anywhere without one's family."
"They're a sort of ant, aren't they? The Zaniahans, I mean."
"More like bees. So those creatures who travel--" Carpenter lowered his
voice modestly "--_alone_ hire a family for the duration of their stay.
There are a number of families available, but the better types come
rather high. There has been talk of reviving the old-fashioned price
controls, but the Wise Ones say this would limit free enterprise as
much as--if you'll excuse my use of the expression--tariffs would."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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