Tell England: A Study in a Generation — John Shaqi
Tell England: A Study in a GenerationRaymond, Ernest
General
Tell England: A Study in a Generation
Raymond, Ernest
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Fillet, or Carpet Slippers, disliked his young boarder, Rupert Ray.
The reason is soon told. One night, when I was out of my bed and
gambolling in pyjamas about the first story of his house, I looked
up the well of the staircase and saw the little shadow of someone
parading the landing above. Thinking it to be a boy, I called out in
a stage-whisper: "Is that old pig, Carpet Slippers, up there?" And a
dear little chestnut beard and a smile came over the balusters,
accompanied by a voice: "Yes, h-h-here he is. Wh-what do you want
with him?"
It was Fillet, in carpet slippers, and round a corner.
And then in his class-room, this day, I got a sum wrong. I deduced
that in a certain battle "point 64" of a soldier remained wounded on
the field, while "point 36" escaped with the retreating army unhurt.
This did not seem a satisfactory conclusion either to the sum or to
the soldier, and I was not surprised, on looking up the answer, to
find that I was wrong. There were two methods of detecting the
error: one was to work through the sum again, the other was to
submit it to Fillet for revision. The latter seemed the less irksome
scheme, and in a sinister moment--heavens! how pregnant with
consequences it was--I left my desk, approached Carpet Slippers, and
laid the trouble before him.
Now Fillet was in the worst of tempers, having been just incensed by
a boy who had declared that two gills equalled one pint, two pints
one quart, and two quarts one rod, pole, or perch. So, when I
brought my sum up and giggled at the answer, he looked at me as if
he neither liked me nor desired that I should ever like him. Then he
indulged in cheap sarcasms. This he was wont to do, and, after
emitting them through his silky beard, he would draw in his breath
through parted teeth, as a child does when it has the taste of
peppermint in its mouth.
"I-I-I t-tell you, a boy in a kindergarten could get it right--a
g-g-guttersnipe could. I-I-I-I--"
This was so much like what they yell from a fire-engine that, though
I struggled hard, I could not contain a giggle.
"I-I-I'll do it for you."
He got it wrong, which elicited a bursting giggle from me. Fillet
turned on me like a barking dog.
"Go to your place, boy, and take your vulgar guffaws with you!"
Surprised at Fillet's taking it to heart in this way, I went, much
abashed, to my seat, and tried to control my fit of giggling. But it
so possessed me that finally it made a very horrible noise in my
nose. Carpet Slippers raised his little head that was a hybrid
between a peach and a billiard ball--a peach as to the face, and a
billiard ball as to the cranium--and when he saw me sitting with
lips tightly set and my desk trembling with my internal laughter,
anger put a fresh coating of red upon both peach and ball. But he
took no action at present.
"I-I'll d-do one of these sums on the board for you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account