Thus _one_ John is dismissed, to go and browse in the closely-cropped and over-crowded pastures of the inefficient and ne’er-do-well mediocrity. Several days later, when John rebounds from the shock imparted by Mr. Parasite’s grandeur, its momentum sends him pat against a fact. “Why, he is a hanger-on to the Government himself.” Yes; and so, in one sense, is every office-holder, from the President down to the mighty messenger who condescends to shut and open doors. It implies no discredit to be a server of the Government; but it reveals a very ignoble side of human nature, when the favored holder rebuffs the lowliest seeker as a being from another race, in any essential quality the antipodes of himself. A man who has just been lifted by his friends from one high place to another, has long boasted, while in power, “that he would not help a friend sooner than an enemy.” I had a certain admiration for him till I knew that he said this, and proved it by his practice. There is something true and grateful and noble lacking in a man’s nature, when he turns from his friend as he would from an enemy, doing nothing for either; always taking, and never giving; always seeking, yet sneering at others who seek; always subsisting on Government bounty and place himself, while he wounds, ignores, and sometimes insults the unfortunates who wish to do likewise and can’t. This is Mr. Parasite, and he lives, reigns and flourishes, as parasites only can, in every department of governmental state. CHAPTER XXXVII. THE DEAD LETTER OFFICE—ITS MARVELS AND MYSTERIES. The Post-Office—Its Architecture—The Monolithic Corinthian Columns—The Postal Service in Early Times—The Act of Queen Anne’s Reign—“Her Majesty’s Colonies”—After the Revolution—The First Postmaster-General—The Present Chief—A Cabinet Minister—The Subordinate Officers—Their Positions and Duties—The Ocean Mail Postal Service—The Contract Office—The Finance Office—The Inspection Office—Complaints and Misdoings—Benjamin Franklin’s Appointment—He Goes into Debt—One Hundred and Twenty Years Ago—Franklin Performs Wonderful Works—His Ideas of Speed—Between Boston and Philadelphia in Six Weeks—Dismissed from Office—The Congress of “The Confederation”—A New Post Office System—Franklin Comes In Again—The Inspector of Dead Letters—Not Allowed to Take Copies of Letters—Only Seventy-five Offices in the States—Primitive Regulations—Only One Clerk—Government Stages—The Office at Washington—Saved from the British Troops—Franklin’s Old Ledger—The Present Number of Post Offices—The Dead Letter Office—The Ladies Too Much Squeezed—Some of the Ladies “Packed”—Opening the Dead Letters—Why Certain Persons are Trusted—Three Thousand Thoughtless People—Valuable Letters—Ensuring Correctness—The Property Branch—The Touching Story of the Photographs—The Return Branch—What the Postmaster Says.