“Poor Bernard--no worse than another. But desire transforms the being
that lays hands on us into a monster quite unlike himself. Nothing
divides us from our accomplice but his frenzy: I have always seen
Bernard wallowing in his pleasure: and I,--I lay like one dead, as if
this epileptic madman might have risked strangling me if I had moved an
inch. More often than not, at the supreme moment, he suddenly realised
he was alone; and the dismal ecstasy came abruptly to an end. Bernard
retraced his steps and found me lying as if I had been thrown up on a
sea shore, cold and with clenched teeth.”
One letter from Anne and one only: the child did not care about
writing;--but, it so happened that there was not a line that Thérèse
did not read with pleasure. A letter is far less an expression of our
real sentiments than of those we ought to feel if our letter is to be
welcome. Anne complained that she could not go in the direction of
Vilméja since young Azévédo had come; she had seen his wheeled chair
among the ferns; consumptives made her shudder.
Thérèse read the letter over and over again and did not expect any
others: so she was much surprised when they got their letters (the day
after the interrupted evening at the music-hall) to recognise Anne de
la Trave’s writing on three envelopes. Various “Postes Restantes” had
sent this bundle of letters on to Paris, for they had not stopped at
several places on their programme: “they were in a hurry,” Bernard
said, “to get back to their nest”; but the real reason was that they
could not endure each other any longer. He was dying of boredom
away from his guns, his dogs, and the inn, where the bitters and
pomegranate syrup tasted better than anywhere else; and he was sick
of this cold mocking woman who never seemed to be enjoying herself
and could not talk about anything interesting!... Thérèse wanted to
get back to Saint Clair, like a convict, who has grown tired of his
temporary cell, becomes curious about the island in which the remainder
of his life is to be spent. Thérèse had carefully deciphered the date
stamped on each of the three envelopes; and she was just opening the
first when Bernard uttered an exclamation, shouted several words which
she did not catch, for the window was open, and as their hotel was at a
street corner the motor-buses changed gears immediately outside. He had
stopped shaving to read a letter from his mother. Thérèse could still
see his “cellular” vest and his muscular bare arms: the pale skin, and
then the sudden coarse crimson of the neck and face. The July morning
was already heavy with sulphurous heat: the smoky sunshine made the
house fronts opposite, beyond the balcony, look grimier still. He had
come up to Thérèse, and shouted: “This is too much. Your little friend
Anne is going it! Who’d have said that my young sister....” And as
Thérèse looked at him questioningly:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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