“Thérèse, if I gave in about this trip, you would see him, wouldn’t
you, and tell me exactly what he said? And you would take my letters
to him? If I go away, if I can bear to go away....” Thérèse left
the kingdom of light and fire and penetrated once more, like some
ill-omened wasp, into the study where the parents waited until the heat
had passed, and their daughter’s resistance had broken down. It was not
until after many such comings and goings that Anne finally consented
to go away. And Thérèse would no doubt never have succeeded had it not
been for the imminent return of the Deguilhems. The girl trembled at
this further danger. Thérèse said to her more than once that, “for a
rich young man, Deguilhem wasn’t at all bad.”
“But, Thérèse, I’ve hardly looked at him: he wears glasses, he’s
bald,--why, he’s an old man.”
“He’s twenty-nine.”
“Exactly what I said, he’s an old man,--and besides, old or not....”
* * * * *
At dinner in the evening, the La Traves were talking about Biarritz,
and began to consider the question of hotels. Thérèse watched Anne, a
body without movement and without soul. “Make an effort”; Madame de la
Trave kept on saying: “you can if you try.” Anne raised the spoon to
her lips with a mechanical gesture. There was no light in her eyes.
Nothing and nobody had any existence for her except the one who was not
there. Sometimes a smile wandered over her lips at the recollection of
a word or caress of Jean Azévédo at the time when they used to sit in
that hut with its walls of heather, and those strong fingers, stronger
than he knew, tore her blouse a little....
Thérèse looked at Bernard’s head and shoulders bent over his plate: as
he was sitting with his back to the light she could not see his face;
but she heard him slowly masticating, ruminating that sacred substance,
his food. She left the table. Her mother-in-law said: “She would sooner
we did not take any notice of her: I should like to make a fuss of her,
but she does not care to be looked after. These feelings of sickness
are the least she can expect in her condition. But she may say what she
likes; she does smoke too much.” And the good lady recalled her own
memories of pregnancy. “I remember when I was expecting you, I had to
sniff an india-rubber ball: it was the only thing that would settle my
stomach.”
“Thérèse, where are you?”
“Here, on the seat.”
“Ah, yes; I can see your cigarette.”
Anne sat down, leaned her head against a motionless shoulder, looked
up at the sky, and said: “He sees these very stars, he hears the
Angelus....”
And she asked Thérèse to kiss her. But Thérèse did not bend down to
that confiding little face. She merely asked:
“Are you unhappy?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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