It was sometime before I could realize what had happened. I have read of the experience of people who had been nearly paralyzed by the shock of an earthquake. They say it is impossible for the mind or words to convey any idea of the intensely awful abject feeling that took possession of them. It seemed to me that I had been through, or into or out of, something of that kind. I do not remember whether I walked, or crept or ran, but I left that scene of failure, anger and despair as soon as I could, and who wouldn’t? My wits had all left me, like sunshine friends. “When a man’s wits are gone, the heavens should open and take him away,” but no heavens opened for me, and I was left to make the best of the situation. When I thought of the young lady, of my love for her, I could have been knocked down by a feather, or anything, for her sake, but when I thought of that unattainable mother-in-law, and her cruel mean fling at me, and of that cold-blooded masculine, offering his services as sexton at the funeral of his daughter, I felt like swearing, and I will not say that I did not use some good robust Saxon expletives, for really, the occasion demanded it. I think the Episcopal Bishop had a good idea when, in a convocation, he became indignant over some wrong: “Mr. President, I think it is the duty of this right reverend house to set forth a form of sound words to be used by a man under strong provocation.” In principle I am opposed to swearing, and then only in good, choice language. I never take the name of God in vain, as that is a sin against Him, and a crime against my better nature, and I detest the use of gad, begad, ’swounds, ’sblood, ’sdeath, so many snobbish “Christian gentlemen” are guilty of. Darwin looks upon swearing as one of the most curious expressions which occur in man; he considers that it reveals his animal descent, and looks upon it as the survival of the habit in animals of uncovering the canine teeth before fighting. I will not dispute this, but confess frankly that I felt like uncovering my canine teeth, as no simple words could do the subject justice. Neither anger or whimpering would accomplish anything for her or me. I hardly knew what I did or did not do, for several days. I could not attack the citadel, as I had no band of knights to aid me, and had to subdue and smother my love and grief as well as my anger allowed me. After several days, I received a letter clandestinely dispatched by some bribed servant. She told of her love for me, that her mother and father were furious, that her mother was to leave at once with her for Bombay and England. She had begged them to let her see me just once, but they declared it impossible, that they would bind her with ropes, or lock her in a room, if she dared to think of such a thing. “And all because you are an Eurasian! How could you help that?” she added. Certainly? How could I help that?