She further wrote that she was going by the morning train, and wished me to come, not to the railway station, where they would be watching, but to stand on a hillock, near the track, where she could see me once more. I was there. As the train passed she cried out to me, “You have all my heart and love,” and she was gone. I was left in an agony of sorrow and despair. How could I help being an Eurasian? Who made me an Eurasian? How often have I repeated these questions? I often felt like cursing him. It is said that Noah, the Patriarch, good enough to be specially saved, cursed his son for his lack of parental respect, and Ham turned black. My father, for Mr. Percy told me that I must have had one, did the same for me and without any provocation on my part. There was an interval of several weeks, just here in my life, that has always been a blank to me. I must have been very ill. My course finished, I received one of the best certificates of my proficiency, and was soon homeward bound again. I was then anxious for employment where I could use the knowledge I had acquired. I was ambitious to go to the capital city to begin at the top. I wrote to the Government of Bengal asking for a position and received the answer—“His Honor directs me to acknowledge the receipt of your letter, and to state that he does not deem it advisable to bring outsiders into this province.” This seemed to me very unjust, as his Honor himself was an outsider, but he probably had in mind the saying, “Present company always excepted.” Besides the babus were everywhere employed from Calcutta to Peshawar. Have the rest of the people no rights? Are the babus so loyal or superior to all others that they should be made the special pets of government? I have often wondered why the rest of the people of India submit to this injustice. There may come a time when the government will wish it had friends in the place of these impudent Bengalis, and the babus themselves will think Hades has burst wide open. I wrote letters to various firms and all replied, “No assistants required,” or, as some of them put in their printed slips, “No Eurasians need apply.” So there was no help for it; to the books again! It was everything to me that I had an income, but what of the thousands of poor wretches who had neither money, income nor employment. A year later the bequest of Mr. Percy was placed in my hands, and every rupee accounted for. I invested in villages, and in various parcels of ground in the station, on which I erected bungalows, one of which was for myself, according to my own taste, with one room especially for a library for the books that I had been accumulating.