'No, thank you,' said Mab, energetically spreading her wings, and, in
her preoccupation, taking the wrong road and darting into the great
luncheon-room, whither the Owl followed her. The tables were crowded
with people, and numbers of other people who had not yet lunched, were
pacing up and down, looking anxiously for vacant places which were not
there. The invisible spectators recognised the British manufacturer
they had seen in Richmond Park. He was seated at a table; he had been
sitting there since the disappearance of his last glass of claret, half
an hour by the great clock, and for the whole of that half-hour several
persons, standing very near his chair, had been fixing hungry eyes upon
him, and expecting him to get up. Every time his boots creaked they
moved perceptibly nearer, and made swift mental calculations of the
chances each would have to reach the chair; but the worthy manufacturer
still sat on, stolid and complacent, with a sense of comfort the keener
by contrast.
Queen Mab and the Owl found him uncongenial, and flew away again.
'That is just like him,' said the Owl, when they had reached the
outside of the building at last, and were perched on the roof, enjoying
the fresh air. 'He _will_ get all he can for his money. In him you may
see a typical and beautiful example of the Survival of the Fittest. He
worked his way, by means of native moral superiority and pure chocolate
composed of mortar and molasses tinted with sepia, right from the
gallery into one of the very best reserved seats, and now has little
books written on himself, as exemplifying the reward of virtue, and
exhorts everybody to go in and do likewise. The pamphlets conclude:
'"If your vocation furnishes only the trivial round and the common
task; if it does not fall to your lot to invent a new pure chocolate,
you can at least buy Mr. Tubbs's pure chocolate, and reverence the
benefactors of humanity."
'He sends copies to all the dukes, and earls, and archbishops, and the
result is an immense sale of the pure chocolate. He has never missed a
chance of advertising it; he takes boxes to the meetings of the Church
Missionary Society for propagation among the heathen, and so has
managed to get large profits from the Zunis, and the Thlinkeets, and
the Mikado, and the Shah. He nearly got into difficulty with the Low
Church party once by writing privately to the Pope to solicit
orders—not holy orders; orders for pure chocolate, I mean. I hope he
won't carry it too far. His wife's uncle, who was a wholesale draper,
seized one golden opportunity too many, and never recovered from the
effects.'
'How was that?' asked Mab.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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