THE £1,000,000 BANK-NOTE _AND OTHER NEW STORIES_ BY MARK TWAIN [Illustration] TORONTO THE MUSSON BOOK COMPANY LIMITED CONTENTS PAGE THE £1,000,000 BANK-NOTE 1 MENTAL TELEGRAPHY 41 A CURE FOR THE BLUES 77 THE ENEMY CONQUERED; OR, LOVE TRIUMPHANT 114 ABOUT ALL KINDS OF SHIPS 193 PLAYING COURIER 225 THE GERMAN CHICAGO 253 A PETITION TO THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND 277 A MAJESTIC LITERARY FOSSIL 287 _THE £1,000,000 BANK-NOTE_ When I was twenty-seven years old, I was a mining-broker’s clerk in San Francisco, and an expert in all the details of stock traffic. I was alone in the world, and had nothing to depend upon but my wits and a clean reputation; but these were setting my feet in the road to eventual fortune, and I was content with the prospect. My time was my own after the afternoon board, Saturdays, and I was accustomed to put it in on a little sail-boat on the bay. One day I ventured too far, and was carried out to sea. Just at nightfall, when hope was about gone, I was picked up by a small brig which was bound for London. It was a long and stormy voyage, and they made me work my passage without pay, as a common sailor. When I stepped ashore in London my clothes were ragged and shabby, and I had only a dollar in my pocket. This money fed and sheltered me twenty-four hours. During the next twenty-four I went without food and shelter. About ten o’clock on the following morning, seedy and hungry, I was dragging myself along Portland Place, when a child that was passing, towed by a nursemaid, tossed a luscious big pear—minus one bite—into the gutter. I stopped, of course, and fastened my desiring eye on that muddy treasure. My mouth watered for it, my stomach craved it, my whole being begged for it. But every time I made a move to get it some passing eye detected my purpose, and of course I straightened up, then, and looked indifferent, and pretended that I hadn’t been thinking about the pear at all. This same thing kept happening and happening, and I couldn’t get the pear. I was just getting desperate enough to brave all the shame, and to seize it, when a window behind me was raised, and a gentleman spoke out of it, saying: ‘Step in here, please.’