The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
We had a lovely time; certainly two of us had, Miss Langham and I. I was
so bewitched with her that I couldn’t count my hands if they went above
a double sequence; and when I struck home I never discovered it, and
started up the outside row again, and would have lost the game every
time, only the girl did the same, she being in just my condition, you
see; and consequently neither of us ever got out, or cared to wonder why
we didn’t; we only just knew we were happy, and didn’t wish to know
anything else, and didn’t want to be interrupted. And I _told_ her—I did
indeed—told her I loved her; and she—well, she blushed till her hair
turned red, but she liked it; she _said_ she did. Oh, there was never
such an evening! Every time I pegged I put on a postscript; every time
she pegged she acknowledged receipt of it, counting the hands the same.
Why, I couldn’t even say, ‘Two for his heels,’ without adding, ‘_My_,
how sweet you do look!’ And she would say, ‘Fifteen two, fifteen four,
fifteen six, and a pair are eight, and eight are sixteen—_do_ you think
so?’ peeping out aslant from under her lashes, you know, so sweet and
cunning. Oh, it was just _too_-too!
Well, I was perfectly honest and square with her; told her I hadn’t a
cent in the world but just the million-pound note she’d heard so much
talk about, and _it_ didn’t belong to me; and that started her
curiosity, and then I talked low, and told her the whole history right
from the start, and it nearly killed her, laughing. What in the nation
she could find to laugh about, _I_ couldn’t see, but there it was; every
half minute some new detail would fetch her, and I would have to stop as
much as a minute and a half to give her a chance to settle down again.
Why, she laughed herself lame, she did indeed; I never saw anything like
it. I mean I never saw a painful story—a story of a person’s troubles
and worries and fears—produce just _that_ kind of effect before. So I
loved her all the more, seeing she could be so cheerful when there
wasn’t anything to be cheerful about; for I might soon need that kind of
wife, you know, the way things looked. Of course I told her we should
have to wait a couple of years, till I could catch up on my salary; but
she didn’t mind that, only she hoped I would be as careful as possible
in the matter of expenses, and not let them run the least risk of
trenching on our third year’s pay. Then she began to get a little
worried, and wondered if we were making any mistake, and starting the
salary on a higher figure for the first year than I would get. This was
good sense, and it made me feel a little less confident than I had been
feeling before; but it gave me a good business idea, and I brought it
frankly out.
‘Portia, dear, would you mind going with me that day, when I confront
those old gentlemen?’
She shrank a little, but said:
‘N-o; if my being with you would help hearten you. But—would it be quite
proper, do you think?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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