The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
It was correctly done. That was what I was going to say. Yet until that
moment George and the matches had not been in my mind for three months,
and it is plain that the part of the sentence which I uttered offers not
the least cue or suggestion of what I was purposing to follow it with.
My mother[2] is descended from the younger of two English brothers named
Lambton, who settled in this country a few generations ago. The
tradition goes that the elder of the two eventually fell heir to a
certain estate in England (now an earldom), and died right away. This
has always been the way with our family. They always die when they could
make anything by not doing it. The two Lambtons left plenty of Lambtons
behind them; and when at last, about fifty years ago, the English
baronetcy was exalted to an earldom, the great tribe of American
Lambtons began to bestir themselves—that is, those descended from the
elder branch. Ever since that day one or another of these has been
fretting his life uselessly away with schemes to get at his ‘rights.’
The present ‘rightful earl’—I mean the American one—used to write me
occasionally, and try to interest me in his projected raids upon the
title and estates by offering me a share in the latter portion of the
spoil; but I have always managed to resist his temptations.
Footnote 2:
She was still living when this was written.
Well, one day last summer I was lying under a tree, thinking about
nothing in particular, when an absurd idea flashed into my head, and I
said to a member of the household, ‘Suppose I should live to be
ninety-two, and dumb and blind and toothless, and just as I was gasping
out what was left of me on my death-bed——’
‘Wait, I will finish the sentence,’ said the member of the household.
‘Go on,’ said I.
‘Somebody should rush in with a document, and say, “All the other heirs
are dead, and you are the Earl of Durham!”’
That is truly what I was going to say. Yet until that moment the subject
had not entered my mind or been referred to in my hearing for months
before. A few years ago this thing would have astounded me, but the like
could not much surprise me now, though it happened every week; for I
think I _know_ now that mind can communicate accurately with mind
without the aid of the slow and clumsy vehicle of speech.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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