Canadian fiction; Country life -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Humorous stories
I went to the window. Paul was surrounded by our flock of twenty-seven
half-grown chickens and five hens. In one hand he held his little tin
pail of corn; with the other he dealt out one grain at a time to each in
turn, calling the fowl by name and reproving those that tried to snatch
the others' share. "Jeremiah, here's yours--come along Aunt Noddy," I
heard him say coaxingly.
I sat down again and stared at Marion hopelessly; she responded with a
gaze of mute despair; then we both studied the tablecloth without
speaking, feeling that the skeleton we had ignored for months had at
last stalked unbidden from the closet.
As I thought the matter over I could see that Marion was entirely to
blame for this hopeless complication. If she had allowed me to get eggs
from pure-bred stock for setting we would have had twenty-seven chickens
of exactly similar appearance that Paul never could have individualized,
never have named, never have loved with the passionate fervor that he
bestowed on each one of the variegated specimens hatched from eggs at
ten cents a dozen. My eggs, I computed, would have cost not more than
five dollars; so in order to save four dollars and a half, Marion had
saddled us with a flock as unapproachable from a culinary stand-point as
so many sacred cows. This conclusion presented itself with such
clearness that I was on the point of submitting it to Marion when I
remembered how unpleasant it was to me to listen to wholesome truths, so
I merely looked unselfish and hummed thoughtfully.
My wife regarded me with suspicion, her frown deepening. "I have asked
you repeatedly," she said, with frosty distinctness, "not to hum, and
not to look like that."
My complaisance vanished. I am not easily irritated, and I try to avoid
answering back, but I cannot stand being told not to look like that.
"Marion," I retorted, "I don't wonder you feel annoyed, but you may as
well face the difficulty now. I'm tired of people asking me how we like
living in the country, and then remarking that it must be fine to have
your own chickens. Of course, I'm willing to keep up appearances and to
make-believe that having our own chickens is one of our many daily
luxuries; but now that your Aunt Sophy is coming we've got to eat them,
or she'll know the reason why. Oh, yes, I know," I added, as she tried
to interrupt--"I know we can't have them in the abstract. We've got to
kill and cook and pick the bones of Abner, Jeremiah, Lucy, or some other
of the boy's pets; but if I had had my way about the eggs he couldn't
have told one from another, and we might have had an occasional fowl
without these painful personal associations."
I regretted my rashness when I saw Marion's look of calm scorn, her
manner leading me to expect a revival of some of my mistakes. I can
evolve plausible theories, but she usually shatters them with the most
distracting personal applications.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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