The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
In nearly every instance, also, the advertisement was accompanied by a
halftone picture of a structure greatly resembling the new county court
house they are going to have down at Paducah if the bond issue ever
passes. This seemed a suitable place for holding circuit court in, or
even fiscal court, but it was not exactly the kind of country home
that we had pictured for ourselves. As my wife said, just the detail of
washing all those windows would keep the girl busy fully half the
time. Nor did I care to invest in any sunken gardens. I had sufficient
experience in that direction when we lived in the suburbs and
permanently invested about half of what I made in our eight-by-ten
flower bed in an effort to make it produce the kind of flowers that the
florists' catalogues described. You could not tell us anything about
that subject--we knew where a sunken garden derives its name. We paid
good money to know.
None of the places advertised in the monthly seemed sufficiently
abandoned for our purposes, so for a little while we were in a quandary.
Then I had a bright thought. I said to myself that undoubtedly abandoned
farms were so cheap the owners did not expect to get any real money for
them; they would probably be willing to take something in exchange. So I
began buying the evening papers and looking through them in the hope of
running across some such item as this:
To Exchange--Abandoned farm, centrally located, with large farmhouse,
containing all antique furniture, barns, outbuildings, family
graveyard--planted--orchard, woodland, fields--unplanted--for a
collection of postage stamps in album, an amateur magician's outfit, a
guitar with book of instructions, a safety bicycle, or what have you?
Address Abandoned, South Squantum Center, Connecticut.
I found no such offers, however; and in view of what we had read this
seemed stranger still. Finally I decided that the only safe method would
be by first-hand investigation upon the spot. I would go by rail to
some small but accessible hamlet in the lower part of New England.
On arriving there I personally would examine a number of the more
attractive abandoned farms in the immediate vicinity and make a
discriminating selection. Having reached this conclusion I went to bed
and slept peacefully--or at least I went to bed and did so as soon as
my wife and I had settled one point that came up unexpectedly at this
juncture. It related to the smokehouse. I was in favor of turning the
smokehouse into a study or workroom for myself. She thought, though,
that by knocking the walls out and altering the roof and building a
pergola on to it, it would make an ideal summer house in which to serve
tea and from which to view the peaceful landscape of afternoons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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