The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
“Anyhow, what's wrong with the furnishings we already have in storage?
Judging by the present rate of non-progress--of static advancement, if I
may use such a phrase--long before we have a place to set them up in
our furnishings will be so entirely out of style that they'll be back
in style all over again, if you get me. These things move in cycles,
you know. One generation buys furniture and uses it. The next generation
finding it hopelessly old-fashioned and out of date burns it up or casts
it away or gives it away or stores it in the attic--anything to get rid
of it. The third generation spends vast sums of money trying to restore
it or the likes of it, for by that time the stuff which was despised and
discarded is in strong demand and fetching fancy prices.
“The only mistake is to belong to the middle generation, which curiously
enough is always the present one. We crave what our grandparents owned
but our parents did not. Our grandchildren will crave what we had
but our own children won't. They'll junk it. To-day's monstrosity
is day-after-tomorrow's art treasure just as today's museum piece is
day-before-yesterday's monstrosity. Therefore, I repeat, let us
remain calm. I figure that when we actually get into that house our
grandchildren will be of a proper age to appreciate the belongings now
appertaining to us, and all will be well.”
Thus in substance I spoke. The counter argument offered was
that--conceding what I said to be true--the fact remained and was not to
be gainsaid that we did not have anywhere near enough of furnishings to
equip the house we hoped at some distant date to occupy.
“You must remember,” I was told, “that for the six or eight years before
we decided to move out here to the country we lived in a flat.”
“What of it?” I retorted instantly. “What of it?” I repeated, for when
in the heat of controversy I think up an apt bit of repartee like that I
am apt to utter it a second time for the sake of emphasis. Pausing only
to see if my stroke of instantaneous retort had struck in, I continued:
“That last flat we had swallowed up furniture as a rat hole swallows
sand. First and last we must have poured enough stuff into that flat to
furnish the state of Rhode Island. And what about the monthly statements
we are getting now from the storage warehouse signed by the president of
the company, old man Pl. Remit? Doesn't the size of them prove that in
the furniture-owning line at least we are to be regarded as persons of
considerable consequence?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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