"If by a super you mean a supernumerary, Footelights," said Mr.
Cheke, the gentleman Commoner of Corpus, "then the Pet isn't one.
He's the leading character of what you would call the ~dramatis
personae.~"
"True," replied Mr. Foote, "he's cast for the hero; though he will
create a new ~role~ as the walking-into-them gentleman."
"You see, Footelights," said Mr. Blades, "that the Pet is to
[144 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
lead our forces; and we depend upon him to help us on to victory: and
we must put him into academicals, not only because the town cads must
think he is one of us, but also because the proctors might otherwise
deprive us of his services - and old Towzer, the Senior Proctor, in
particular, is sure to be all alive. Who's got an old gown?"
"I will lend mine with pleasure," said Mr. Verdant Green.
"But you'll want it yourself," said Mr. Blades.
"Why, thank you," faltered our hero, "I'd rather, I think, keep
within college. I can see the - the fun - yes, the fun - from the
window."
"Oh, blow it, Giglamps!" ejaculated Mr. Bouncer, "you'll never go to
do the mean, and show the white feather, will you?"
"Music expressive of trepidation," murmured Mr. Foote, by way of
parenthesis.
"But," pursued our hero, apologetically, "there will be, I dare say,
a large crowd."
"A very powerful ~caste~, no doubt," observed Mr. Foote.
"And I may get my - yes, my spectacles broken; and then" -
"And then, Giglamps," said Mr. Bouncer, "why, and then you shall be
presented with another pair as a testimonial of affection from yours
truly. Come, Giglamps, don't do the mean! a man of your standing,
and with a chest like that!" and the little gentleman sounded on our
hero's shirt-front, as doctors do when they stethoscope a patient.
"Come, Giglamps, old feller, you mustn't refuse. You didn't ought
to was, as Shakespeare says."
"Pardon me! Not Shakespeare, but Wright, in the 'Green Bushes,' "
interrupted Mr. Foote, who was as painfully anxious as Mr. Payne
Collier himself that the text of the great poet should be free from
corruptions.
So Mr. Verdant Green, reluctantly, it must be confessed, suffered
himself to be persuaded to join that section of the Gown which was to
be placed under the leadership of the redoubted Pet; while little Mr.
Bouncer, who had gone up into Mr. Sloe's rooms, and had vainly
endeavoured to persuade that gentleman to join in the forthcoming
~melee~, returned with an undergraduate's gown, and forthwith
invested the Pet with it.
"I don't mind this 'ere mortar-board, sir," remarked the professor of
the noble art of self-defence, as he pointed to the academical cap
which surmounted his head, "I don't mind the mortar-board, sir; but I
shall never be able to do nothink with this 'ere toggery on my
shudders. I couldn't use my mawleys no how!" And the Pet illustrated
his remark in a professional manner, by sparring at an imaginary
opponent in a feeble and unscientific fashion.
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 145]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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