From the top of 'the Royal Defiance,' Jack Adams, who coaches so well, Set me down in these regions of science, In front of the Mitre Hotel. Whack fol lol, lol iddity, &c. 'Sure never man's prospects were brighter,' I said, as I jumped from my perch; 'So quickly arrived at the Mitre, Oh, I'm sure, to get on in the Church!' Whack fol lol, lol iddity, &c." By the time Mr. Bouncer finished these words, the coach appropriately drew up at the "Mitre," and the passengers tumbled off amid a knot of gownsmen collected on the pavement to receive them. But no sooner were Mr. Green and our hero set down, than they were attacked by a horde of the aborigines of Oxford, who, knowing by vulture-like sagacity the aspect of a freshman and his governor, swooped down upon them in the guise of impromptu porters, and made an indiscriminate attack upon the luggage. It was only by the display of the greatest presence of mind that Mr. Verdant Green recovered his effects, and prevented his canvas-covered boxes from being [AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 31] <VG031-1.JPG> carried off in the wheel-barrows that were trundling off in all directions to the various colleges. <VG031-2.JPG> [32 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN] But at last all were safely secured. And soon, when a snug dinner had been discussed in a quiet room, and a bottle of the famous (though I have heard some call it "in-famous") Oxford port had been produced, Mr. Green, under its kindly influence, opened his heart to his son, and gave him much advice as to his forthcoming University career; being, of course, well calculated to do this from his intimate acquaintance with the subject. Whether it was the extra glass of port, or whether it was the <VG032.JPG> nature of his father's discourse, or whether it was the novelty of his situation, or whether it was all these circumstances combined, yet certain it was that Mr. Verdant Green's first night in Oxford was distinguished by a series, or rather confusion, of most remarkable dreams, in which bishops, archbishops, and hobgoblins elbowed one another for precedence; a beneficent female crowned him with laurel, while Fame lustily proclaimed the honours he had received, and unrolled the class-list in which his name had first rank. Sweet land of visions, that will with such ease confer even a ~treble~ first upon the weary sleeper, why must he awake from thy gentle thraldom, to find the class-list a stern reality, and Graduateship too often but an empty dream! [AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 33] CHAPTER IV. MR. VERDANT GREEN BECOMES AN OXFORD UNDERGRADUATE.