The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
since the foundation stone of that great republic was laid by the
immortal Washington.' His lordship's speech was again interrupted by a
demonstration of surprise on the part of the audience. He paused a
moment, as if questioning the cause. Sir Mathew's aid was again called
into service; reminding his lordship that his history was at fault, he
added, in a tone most prudent, 'Not yet one hundred, my lord; 1776
marks the date of the declaration of independence.' Thanking Sir
Mathew for the kindly hint, he apologized to his hearers, and
proceeded. 'One hundred years, then have hardly rolled around, and we
find that wonderful country presided over by a commoner--the choice of
a free people, who raise him to that proud eminence once every eight
years--vieing (here Sir Mathew again interrupted by saying, 'Every
four years, my lord!') with the oldest and most powerful nations of
Europe. Thanks, Sir Mathew,' interpolated his lordship, rather tartly,
turning round. His Honor now proceeded for some time on a rather
smooth course, except that he left out a great many h's and put in a
great many a's. The great minds of America, he said, had done a world
for her greatness. Here he condescended to pay what he was pleased to
consider a very deserved compliment to General Flum of New York, whose
broad and deeply wrinkled face he espied at the extreme end of one of
the long tables, where it loomed up like a careworn lantern amidst a
cluster of delicately tinted foliage. America, said his lordship,
sought her great men, not from among the effete walks of the
haristocracy, from the more legitimate hemisphere--the common walks of
life. With a strange elongation of the body did our speaker emphasize
the remark. Great men were the gift of an age, and a nation's fortune;
and with which he was more than happy to say Hamerica had been
blessed--would that his conscience and love of truth would permit him
to say as much of his own country! He saw the personification and
embodiment of America's great minds in the countenance of his much
esteemed friend General Flum, whom his very soul joyed at recognizing
present. (We will here add, by way of parenthesis, that the knowing
ones of New York had a less exalted opinion of Flum's talent, which
had remained hid under a pewter pot, but for General Pierce, who
dragged it to the light of day for the purpose of eventually
harmonizing his cabinet). Fortunate was it for the welfare of a great
country that such men existed; they seemed born to a special purpose,
which to him was a medium of conserving and protecting the great
international well-being of the two peoples. That purpose was the
greatest the world could contemplate in this great age of pounds,
shillings, and pence; and with such a mind as he knew General Flum
possessed, and the stronger arguments with which the generous host had
conciliated all differences international, the two countries were sure
to continue in a bond of friendship. To this distinguished compliment
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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