The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"Having dispatched the man Dudley on his mission, with many bows and
much esteem for his high consideration of my position, and acting on
the intimation from Pierce, I packed up my portfolio, and in a Hansom
cab made the best of my way to 56, Harley street,--a large mansion, in
one of the back rooms of which they said my esteemed friend James
Buckhanan had for some time past been burrowed. That is, Mrs. Sprat,
who knew all the gossip of the legation, declared such to be the
fact. She saw very little indeed of the 'Governor,' whom she believed
smothered in his diplomacy, for he appeared never to want anything but
the spittoon, and now and then, at long intervals, a clean pair of
stockings. Arriving at the door, I rang lustily the bell, and soon
there appeared a very stiff flunky, in democratic livery of bright
colors, who bowed me into a great hall, and after grinning at me for
about a minute, said he reckoned I was a citizen o' the United
States. 'From Vermont, I take it?' he continued, in quick succession.
I told him it was no matter about that; if he had no objection I would
take a look at his governor. While I was deliberating, the
best-looking 'yellow fellow' outside of Carolina made his appearance,
and immediately commenced taking charge of me. He said he understood
diplomacy all up, (having studied dancing and attended Mrs. Sprat's
tea-parties for more than two years!) and would put me through if I
said the word. Then he added, with a _sang froid_ that seemed quite
grateful, that though he wasn't exactly governor of the establishment,
he would show me up to the man who was, and under whose dictation
Mr. Buckhanan had for peace sake accepted a fifth-rate position. On my
motioning him to proceed (he seemed much inclined to affect a good
deal of etiquette) the fellow led off, through a long dark passage,
crowded with empty Genessee flour barrels, champagne baskets, boxes of
cast off pipes (breathing redolent of tobacco), decrepit arm-chairs,
old foils and boxing-gloves, numerous empty beer-bottles, a lot of
worn-out dancing slippers, and a quantity of second-hand nightgowns
and side-saddles. What use diplomacy had for these abused relics we
leave the reader to conjecture. Opening a door on the left, my guide
with a bow accompanying a graceful bend of the body, ushered me into a
spacious room, with the announcement:--'A gemman fum de States,
Mr. Prompt!' No Mr. Prompt could I see, such was the state of the
atmosphere. In fact, I was set upon by a perfect fog of tobacco smoke.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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