The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
were now on foot, interposing for peace; nor had I time to assert my
authority, when, decanters of port and claret standing close at hand,
Souley seized one, and O'Sullivan the other, as if for weapons of
mortal combat, and commenced a series of threatening menaces. The
waiters were not accustomed to such feints, and one, before we were
conscious, of it had run down stairs and alarmed the house. Landlord,
servants, and a whole troup of police, came rushing into the hall, as
the two gentlemen of Verona, revealing the joke, made the politest
bows over their glasses, which they gracefully emptied. I was about
deciding that Monsieur Souley's language was decidedly personal, when
he proclaimed his determination to postpone his speech until
to-morrow. He would however, conclude by proposing a toast, which he
need scarcely add would be heartily responded to by every one
present. He would propose the health of the venerable statesman on the
chairman's right--a man who had long and worthily maintained the
highest rank among his country's statesmen, and whose opinions
(although he differed with them at times) were world-wide! (Great
sensation). Mr. Buckhanan now rose, evidently affected by the
immensity of the cheers. His mien was at once dignified, and when
contrasted with the promiscuous countenances that surrounded him, wore
an air singularly American. He began by saying he was happy to say he
did not feel himself a stranger in a strange land. (This being
translated into Dutch by Monsieur Souley, the invited guests present
received it with loud acclamations). We read the same books; we were
animated by a kindred love of liberty; we spoke the same language; we
enjoyed the same immunities of a constitutional government; and that
spirit which animated us to fight for liberty had its origin in the
same stock! Here Mr. Belmont interposed by reminding the venerable
statesman that the Dutch of Pennsylvania and New York could not be
said properly to represent the whole American Union. Order being
demanded and restored, Mr. Buckhanan apologised for the grave error,
which he charged to the delicious quality of the krout. He seemed
unconscious of what he had been saying, and suddenly became aware that
he had mistaken his theme, and was letting off the big end of his
model speech, with which he had so often entertained his friends at
feeds given by sundry Lord Mayors of London. The joke was too good;
the old man could not suppress a laugh at his own mistake, and sat
down, intimating that as he would have something to say to-morrow he
would now bring his speech to a close. (Uproarious applause). Again
Monsieur Souley rose, and amid shouts of--'question!' said the
question was of no kind of consequence, that he always went on the
principle of making himself heard. Further attempts to rein up
Monsieur Souley would have been sheer madness; so he continued his
speech, which included fifty irrelevant topics without discussing
one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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