The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
He even charged Louis Napoleon with poisoning the champagne.
Whatever of truth there might be in the charge, we only know that the
speaker ere he had concluded his speech found himself standing alone,
the whole Congress having dropped off into a profound sleep. Becoming
indignant at this display of indifference, he stopped suddenly,
commanded the waiters to wake up the sleepers, and himself commenced
an uproar by smashing the tumblers and decanters, after the fashion of
a French fiddler in for a frolic. The company with one accord offered
an apology, joined in drinking the health of the speaker, charged the
delinquency to the strength of the poisoned champagne rather than that
of the speech--(which was narcotic, rather), and adjourned to meet in
Duitenethipicgnisher's Hall, at twelve o'clock on the following
morning. I must not omit to inform the reader that those who were
unable to see their way up stairs were carried there by the
waiters. Smooth, as a matter of course, had no bricks in his hat.
"Bright and early on the following morning I tumbled out, made a hasty
toilet, and set about waking up the Congress of sleepers. Souley I
found in a sad plight; Buck was snoring like great guns; O'Sullivan I
thought had either been dreaming of the Pampero expedition, or taken
too much whiskey during the delivery of Monsieur Souley's speech;
Belmont had made a pillow of his Dutch bonds--indeed the only specimen
of humanity up and moving was Corporal Noggs, who expressed his
anxiety to know what Marcy would say were he an eye-witness to the
preliminaries. As for Pierce! it mattered little what he thought, he
being a mere cypher among the boys. Having succeeded in moving the
Congress we sallied out to view those suburbs so full of historical
lore. To our surprise we were surrounded wherever we went by a
clamorous and grotesque crowd of discontented individuals, each
bearing a document in his or her hand, on which was prominently
described the great seal of the United States of America. For a time
the mystery involved seemed as undefinable as the jargon of the motley
group. Indeed, the whole city seemed not only agog, but panic
stricken. Nor was its influence confined to any class. It had delved
alike into the palace of the king and cabin of the burgher. Wherever a
delegate made his appearance he was sure to be followed or surrounded
by a clamorous group, pouring forth its jargon in a rhapsody of praise
to America, which singularly enough they supposed had sent the first
instalment of her intention to overthrow the dynasties of Europe, and
relieve mankind in general. Monsieur Souley, whom they happily mistook
for a Greek, was the only member of the Congress exempt from the
annoyance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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