The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"A little more light was soon reflected on the mystery! Saunders had
inundated the city--not with his promised bombshells: his missile was
more alarming, but less dangerous. Having ingeniously changed the
object of a very long epistle, he dedicated it to the French people
instead of the Austrian Emperor. The mould of its dictum was decidedly
strong; but in order to add more point he gave his periods a peculiar
slant, at the head of Napoleon the Third. That a fellow-feeling as
lasting as the mountain chain existed between the French and American
peoples, there was, according to the circular, not a doubt. In
reference to other heads, there were strong doubts! The Congress now
assembling was an earnest of what he said: that _august_ body George
strongly recommended to the esteem of all aggrieved citizens. Did any
one doubt the genuineness or the national character of these epistles
he had but to refer to the great seal on their front, which was none
other than that of the Legation at London.
"The reader may now easily imagine our increasing difficulties. On
proceeding to the Hall at the appointed time, I found our Ministers in
a general state of alarm. Souley had received a private and very
confidential letter from his agent in Paris, forewarning him of Louis
Napoleon's intention to descend upon the Congress, perform a
_coup-d'etat_, and having nicely bagged the game, appropriate it to
his own table. In view of this, Monsieur Souley recommended an
adjournment to a more congenial atmosphere. Messrs. Buckhanan and
Belmont rising together, objected to any such movement, inasmuch as it
would discover a spirit of weakness, to guard against which Uncle
Caleb and Master Fourney had given express instructions. Here a long
cross-fire of discussion ensued. I thought it had neither head nor
tail, and was something after the order of what Mr. Pierce conceived
to be the object of this Congress, for it resulted in nothing, the
speakers all agreeing to withdraw what they had said. As a first move
to the organization of the body, it was agreed that Hanz Voghnine, who
was privileged to open a bar for the sale of good liquors in one
corner of the hall, would be the only outsider admitted. Hanz was
accordingly examined in reference to his being a spy; the result being
satisfactory, he was enjoined to keep nothing but a first-rate
article. On the second balloting I found myself elected President,
which high distinction, having been conducted to the chair amidst
soul-stirring acclamations, I acknowledged in what is generally termed
a neat and appropriate speech. Noggs was at the first ballot elected
Sergeant-at-Arms and door-keeper in general, the duty of which offices
he promised to fill to the very best of his abilities. A
vagrant-opinion was rife that Monsieur Souley would have filled the
office of door-keeper much better, himself being so easily opened and
shut. However, as Noggs had been voted the office, we all reconciled
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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