The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
Deacon Hawkins kept an inn for the entertainment of man and
beast. It was not the very best kind of an inn, for it was managed by
the deacon's wife, whose parsimony and love of Friday evening meetings
had lost her nearly all her guests and driven her children barefoot
into the street. On the day following the Starlight's arrival, as luck
would have it, a 'political meeting' was to be holden at the Deacon's,
when a considerable amount of first-rate drinking was sure to come
off. Smooth, being Mr. Pierce's minister in general, was honored with
an invitation which he declined in consideration of his anxiety to be
among the mackerel. Something must indeed be done for the mackerel;
the case was a serious one. Had the Britishers shown a resolution to
be among the fish, Smooth had lent them a hand to secure the whole
shoal, and then brought them back, merely to avoid the penalty of the
British law, and secure the bounty given by ours. Well, the Britishers
were all gone to a political meeting, where a noisy politician of the
name of Joe Howe, and another of the name of Doyle, having come all
the way from Halifax, and brought with them other great men of the
political world of Nova Scotia, would relieve themselves of ponderous
speeches, to hear which all the old men of the parish would take their
promising sons. Smooth never regarded political meetings over highly,
and had more than once thought those so earnest in attending them had
done much better attending their potato fields. With this opinion made
stronger in the present instance, he counselled Mister Splitwater, the
mate, whose logic never was known to be at fault. Splitwater, agreed
that it was expedient to be in pursuit of the fish while the
Britishers were attending their political gatherings and
prayer-meetings. Mackerel were right knowing fish, he said, and could
with good feed be coaxed across the line, and into the waters not held
sacred against American hooks by British law. And to this end a goodly
amount of bait was ground up; and the wind coming in the quarter most
favorable to our movements, canvas was got on the Starlight, and in
charge of Splitwater, who was directed to keep a bright eye on the
warships, she put to sea like a thing of life dancing with snowy wings
over the blue, blue waters. While he was taking care of the fish,
Smooth remained on shore, keeping those who attended the political
meeting all right, and making a speech or two when called upon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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