The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"His opinion of the Novascotians had always been favorable, and when
he left Mr. Pierce it was with a promise that he would do all he could
to enlighten them. But as impressions will change at a nearer view, so
when he got wrong did he regard both the quality and quantity of their
radicalism as injurious to the best interests of the State. There was
in the little green-hilled province an endless amount of political
talking done, with so small an amount of patriotism evinced, that we
were not at a loss for the cause that had kept the State in
obscurity. Then there seemed so much government, that everything was
ungoverned. And he (Smooth) thought there was a want of activity,
physical as well as mental, and a recklessness of getting into debt to
Mr. John Bull, who never could infuse a sufficient sense of honor into
his Colonial subjects to make them pay over, or regard their
obligations. Want of energy and a criminal dependence upon the 'home
Government' for assistance, with which to develop the resources of the
country, resulted in a want of confidence in the State's own means to
better its condition. The Home Government, and an imported Governor,
were blighting to their vital energies. This subject, however, is not
fruitful, hence his reader will please accompany him to a different.
Having left Pierce for a time, Smooth, with that resolution so
characteristic of his countrymen, wherever found, entered into the
codfish business. Transforming himself (after the manner of his uncle
Jeff Davis), into a captain of the fishing schooner Starlight, which
said schooner he ran over the treaty line straight into Fox Island, on
the coast of Cape Breton, where he proposed making the acquaintance of
the inhabitants, and, if possible, a treaty of friendship and
commerce. The waters in and about the port were alive with
mackerel--the finest, plumpest, fattest, and most willing fish ever
seen in any waters. They sported round us, looking clever enough to
make all on board the schooner believe they wanted to come on board.
The crew felt like scraping acquaintance with them, favoring them with
a hook, and the like; but then there interposed that great
bugbear--the treaty line. Hard was it to tell where this line was; it
might, for aught to the contrary, be on the top of a wave, upon which
we might be tossed, much against Smooth's inclination, far into the
unlawful side. Being, however, inside of the line and surrounded by
mackerel, one would have supposed the Nova Scotians had been on the
alert catching them. The case was just the reverse, for not a Nova
Scotiaman was to be seen. To Smooth's mind this was making a law to
protect the lazy, something he never approved of, more especially in
these days of energy and railroads. A determination was come to, after
mature deliberation, that fish there were and fish our boys must have,
so you must lend an ear while Smooth relates the manner in which he
got them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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