The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"Down, down, down, went, groping my way (significant of the General's
policy) through a long dark passage, whence came a rancorous stench,
strong enough to kill cats and doubtful democrats. 'Keep the right
hand way for the kitchen: General is in there, assisting in the making
of a monster stew. Work your course through the smoke--you may be sure
Mr. Pierce is in the thickest cloud, though over the smallest
stew-pan,' a voice echoed, as if broken on the winds. 'All right!' I
muttered, confronting on my way the still stronger odour of the
sickening steam. My intention was to have a political discussion with
the cook (Fourney by name) and say a thing or two to the General; for
I had got a sort of cross-grained notion into my head that he was
compounding a grand stew for the black pig with the horns. Meanwhile
my stomach said it would have no objection to join the General over a
good breakfast. Presently I scented the frying of fish, which betold
that I was on the right track. But lo! as I was about to open a great
door that led into where the fussing and frying was going on, a voice
screamed out--'Visitors are forbidden these premises!' Here was a
pretty kettle of political fish. 'Much you know about it!' I replied
testily, and turning saw nothing but fog and confusion. Faith and
energy being the two great pillars of human progress, I summoned them
to my aid, and pressed onward, determined to see for myself who
regulated the culinary. This resolution was adopted solely on the
ground that the General had repudiated his responsibility to the
people, and joined hands with those who eat up all the loaves and
little fishes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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