But as to me, my thought was, "What wilt thou do? Wilt thou eat thy leek or die? At least 'tis such a maid as thou needest not to be shamed of: and when thou thinkest of thine own lowly descent, say, art thou worthy to sit where she puts off her shoes?" Yet loud and long I swore and asseverated we had wrought no dishonour with one another, but got only for answer, we should have so behaved that none could suspect evil of us, whereas by our way of dealing we could quiet no man's doubts. So were we married by the said clergyman, sitting up in bed, and the ceremony over, were forced to rise and to leave the house. But I, who had now recovered myself and felt a sword by my side, must crack my joke: and "Papa-in-law," says I, "I know not why ye should carry yourself thus scurvily: when other young folk be wedded their next of kin do bring them to their bed-chamber, but your worship after my wedding doth cast me forth, not only from my bed but from the house: and in place of such congratulation as he should give me on my marriage, doth grudge me even the sight of my good brother-in-law's face and my service to him. Verily if this fashion hold, there will be few friendships bred by weddings in this world." _Chap. xxii._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS HELD HIS WEDDING-FEAST AND HOW HE PURPOSED TO BEGIN HIS NEW LIFE The people at my lodging were all astonished when I brought the young maid home with me, and yet more when they saw how unconcernedly she went to bed with me. For though this trick which had been played me stirred up great perplexity in my mind, yet was I not so foolish as to put my bride to shame. And so even while I had my dear in mine arms I had a thousand conceits in my head, how I should begin and end my behaviour in this matter. Now thought I, "Thou art rightly served": and yet again I considered that I had met with the greatest disgrace in the world, which I could not in honour pass over without due revenge. But when I remembered me that such revenge must harm my father-in-law and also my gentle and innocent bride, then all my plans were naught. At one time I was so sore ashamed that I planned to shut myself up and let no man see me again, and again I reflected that that would be to commit the chief and greatest folly. At the last I concluded that I would before all things win my father-in-law's friendship again, and would so carry myself to all others as if nothing had happened untoward, and as if I had made all things ready for my wedding. For, said I to myself, "Seeing that this business hath had a strange beginning, thou must give it a like end: for should folk know thou wast trapped in thy marriage and wedded like a poor maiden to a rich old cripple, mockery only will be thy portion."