The Age of Science: A Newspaper of the Twentieth CenturyCobbe, Frances Power
Science
The Age of Science: A Newspaper of the Twentieth Century
Cobbe, Frances Power
Dystopias -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
The Doctors, Archdoctors, and Pro-Apothecaries constituting the Lower
House of Convocation assembled in the Nave of Westminster Abbey at 11
o’clock. The Very Eminent Cyrup Camomile, M.D., Archdoctor of
Cheltenham, Prolocutor, presided.
The Prolocutor having bowed to the busts of Hippocrates, Galen, and
Harvey (a ceremony which has been substituted for the old form of
prayers), præconization was taken by the actuary of the names of
members; assessors were appointed, and a multitude of petitions
presented. The Schedules of Gravamina and Reformanda were then called
for. Among the former the most important (which was sent up at once to
the Upper House as an _Articulus Medici_) was the gravamen of the
Archapothecary of Sarum, which set forth that, contrary the interests
of the profession and ordinary usage, a Coroner had been recently
elected for the county of Dorset who was not a Medical Man. Another
gravamen referred to the inadequacy of the fees to be legally claimed
by Doctors for granting Certificates of Birth, Vaccination,
Equination, Porcination, Sanitary Fitness for Factory or other
labours, Fitness for Marriage, and, finally, the most important
Certificates of having died under due Medical care and supervision,
and being consequently admissible for Cremation.
Members were then called upon to give notice of motions, and
discussions followed on those of Sir William Puffin—
That Convocation should remonstrate with Her Majesty’s Ministers for
the laxity wherewith the laws relating to Medical Heretics are
enforced.
Of Sir Andrew Scrivener—
That Convocation should desire Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for
Home Affairs to introduce immediately into Parliament a Bill
prohibiting Dinner Parties, exceeding seven persons in number, to be
held without the presence of a qualified Physician or Surgeon.
Of Dr. Aqua Fortis—
That a Bill should be likewise required, compelling Railway and
Steamboat Companies to employ, at suitable salaries, a staff of
properly qualified Surgeons, one of whom at least should travel by
every train and on every steamboat.
And of Dr. Scurvydrop—
That a Deputation from Convocation should wait on the Lords of the
Admiralty to remonstrate on the subordinate position allotted to
Surgeons on board Her Majesty’s Ships, and to demand that the Medical
Officer should at all times (except when the immediate conduct of the
ship is in question) takes precedence of the Captain as Commander.
A similar motion was made by Dr. Turniquet for a deputation to the
Horse Guards on behalf of the Army Surgeons, and was, like all the
preceding motions, adopted unanimously.
The Report concludes with the observation—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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