patronising letters from people who say that I have put into words
thoughts which they have always had, and which they never took the
trouble to write down; then there are requests for autographs, and
"sentiments," and suggestions for new books. A man writes to say that I
could do untold good if I would write a book with a purpose, and
ventures to propose that I should take up anti-vivisection. There are a
few letters worth their weight in gold, from good men and true, writers
and critics, who thank me for a book which fulfils its aim and artistic
purpose, while on the other hand there are some from people who find
fault with my book for not doing what I never even attempted to do.
Here is one that has given me deep and unmitigated pain; it is from an
old friend, who, I am told, is aggrieved because he thinks that I have
put him into my book, in the form of an unpleasant character. The worst
of it is that there is enough truth in it to make it difficult for me
to deny it. My character is, in some superficial ways, habits, and
tricks of speech, like Reginald. Well, on hearing what he felt, I wrote
him a letter of apology for my carelessness and thoughtlessness,
saying, as frankly as I could, that the character was not in any way
drawn from him, but that I undoubtedly had, almost unconsciously, taken
an external trait or two from him; adding that I was truly and heartily
sorry, and hoped that there would be no ill-feeling; and that I valued
his friendship even more than he probably imagined. Here is his reply:
MY DEAR F----,
--If you spit on the head of a man passing in the street, and then
write to him a few days after to say that all is forgiven, and that you
are sorry your aim was so accurate, you don't mend matters.
You express a hope that after what has occurred there may be no
ill-feeling between us. Well, you have done me what I consider an
injury. I have no desire to repay it; if I had a chance of doing you a
good turn, I should do it; if I heard you abused, I should stick up for
you. I have no intention of making a grievance out of it. But if you
ask me to say that I do not feel a sense of wrong, or to express a wish
to meet you, or to trust you any longer as I have hitherto trusted you,
I must decline saying anything of the kind, because it would not be
true.
Of course I know that there cannot be omelettes without breaking eggs;
and I suppose that there cannot be what are called psychological
novels, without violating confidences. But you cannot be surprised,
when you encourage an old friend to trust you and confide in you, and
then draw an ugly caricature of him in a book, if he thinks the worse
of you in consequence. I hear that the book is a great success; you
must be content with the fact that the yolks are as golden as they are.
Please do not write to me again on the subject. I will try to forget
it, and if I succeed, I will let you know.
Yours ----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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