Death -- Fiction; Forgiveness -- Fiction; Memory -- Fiction
It’s true that if there weren’t other dates than this there were other
memories; and by the time George Stransom was fifty-five such memories
had greatly multiplied. There were other ghosts in his life than the
ghost of Mary Antrim. He had perhaps not had more losses than most men,
but he had counted his losses more; he hadn’t seen death more closely,
but had in a manner felt it more deeply. He had formed little by little
the habit of numbering his Dead: it had come to him early in life that
there was something one had to do for them. They were there in their
simplified intensified essence, their conscious absence and expressive
patience, as personally there as if they had only been stricken dumb.
When all sense of them failed, all sound of them ceased, it was as if
their purgatory were really still on earth: they asked so little that
they got, poor things, even less, and died again, died every day, of the
hard usage of life. They had no organised service, no reserved place, no
honour, no shelter, no safety. Even ungenerous people provided for the
living, but even those who were called most generous did nothing for the
others. So on George Stransom’s part had grown up with the years a
resolve that he at least would do something, do it, that is, for his
own—would perform the great charity without reproach. Every man _had_
his own, and every man had, to meet this charity, the ample resources of
the soul.
It was doubtless the voice of Mary Antrim that spoke for them best; as
the years at any rate went by he found himself in regular communion with
these postponed pensioners, those whom indeed he always called in his
thoughts the Others. He spared them the moments, he organised the
charity. Quite how it had risen he probably never could have told you,
but what came to pass was that an altar, such as was after all within
everybody’s compass, lighted with perpetual candles and dedicated to
these secret rites, reared itself in his spiritual spaces. He had
wondered of old, in some embarrassment, whether he had a religion; being
very sure, and not a little content, that he hadn’t at all events the
religion some of the people he had known wanted him to have. Gradually
this question was straightened out for him: it became clear to him that
the religion instilled by his earliest consciousness had been simply the
religion of the Dead. It suited his inclination, it satisfied his
spirit, it gave employment to his piety. It answered his love of great
offices, of a solemn and splendid ritual; for no shrine could be more
bedecked and no ceremonial more stately than those to which his worship
was attached. He had no imagination about these things but that they
were accessible to any one who should feel the need of them. The poorest
could build such temples of the spirit—could make them blaze with candles
and smoke with incense, make them flush with pictures and flowers. The
cost, in the common phrase, of keeping them up fell wholly on the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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