Death -- Fiction; Forgiveness -- Fiction; Memory -- Fiction
“I know what you’ve done,” said Stransom “I know what you’ve done for
years.” For a moment they looked at each other through it all with their
long community of service in their eyes. This short passage made, to his
sense, for the woman before him, an immense, an absolutely naked
confession; which was presently, suddenly blushing red and changing her
place again, what she appeared to learn he perceived in it. He got up
and “How you must have loved him!” he cried.
“Women aren’t like men. They can love even where they’ve suffered.”
“Women are wonderful,” said Stransom. “But I assure you I’ve forgiven
him too.”
“If I had known of anything so strange I wouldn’t have brought you here.”
“So that we might have gone on in our ignorance to the last?”
“What do you call the last?” she asked, smiling still.
At this he could smile back at her. “You’ll see—when it comes.”
She thought of that. “This is better perhaps; but as we were—it was
good.”
He put her the question. “Did it never happen that he spoke of me?”
Considering more intently she made no answer, and he then knew he should
have been adequately answered by her asking how often he himself had
spoken of their terrible friend. Suddenly a brighter light broke in her
face and an excited idea sprang to her lips in the appeal: “You _have_
forgiven him?”
“How, if I hadn’t, could I linger here?”
She visibly winced at the deep but unintended irony of this; but even
while she did so she panted quickly: “Then in the lights on your altar—?”
“There’s never a light for Acton Hague!”
She stared with a dreadful fall, “But if he’s one of your Dead?”
“He’s one of the world’s, if you like—he’s one of yours. But he’s not
one of mine. Mine are only the Dead who died possessed of me. They’re
mine in death because they were mine in life.”
“_He _was yours in life then, even if for a while he ceased to be. If
you forgave him you went back to him. Those whom we’ve once loved—”
“Are those who can hurt us most,” Stransom broke in.
“Ah it’s not true—you’ve _not_ forgiven him!” she wailed with a passion
that startled him.
He looked at her as never yet. “What was it he did to you?”
“Everything!” Then abruptly she put out her hand in farewell.
“Good-bye.”
He turned as cold as he had turned that night he read the man’s death.
“You mean that we meet no more?”
“Not as we’ve met—not _there_!”
He stood aghast at this snap of their great bond, at the renouncement
that rang out in the word she so expressively sounded. “But what’s
changed—for you?”
She waited in all the sharpness of a trouble that for the first time
since he had known her made her splendidly stern. “How can you
understand now when you didn’t understand before?”
“I didn’t understand before only because I didn’t know. Now that I know,
I see what I’ve been living with for years,” Stransom went on very
gently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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