Death -- Fiction; Forgiveness -- Fiction; Memory -- Fiction
These days of her absence proved to him of what she was capable; all the
more that he never dreamed she was vindictive or even resentful. It was
not in anger she had forsaken him; it was in simple submission to hard
reality, to the stern logic of life. This came home to him when he sat
with her again in the room in which her late aunt’s conversation lingered
like the tone of a cracked piano. She tried to make him forget how much
they were estranged, but in the very presence of what they had given up
it was impossible not to be sorry for her. He had taken from her so much
more than she had taken from him. He argued with her again, told her she
could now have the altar to herself; but she only shook her head with
pleading sadness, begging him not to waste his breath on the impossible,
the extinct. Couldn’t he see that in relation to her private need the
rites he had established were practically an elaborate exclusion? She
regretted nothing that had happened; it had all been right so long as she
didn’t know, and it was only that now she knew too much and that from the
moment their eyes were open they would simply have to conform. It had
doubtless been happiness enough for them to go on together so long. She
was gentle, grateful, resigned; but this was only the form of a deep
immoveability. He saw he should never more cross the threshold of the
second room, and he felt how much this alone would make a stranger of him
and give a conscious stiffness to his visits. He would have hated to
plunge again into that well of reminders, but he enjoyed quite as little
the vacant alternative.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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