Death -- Fiction; Forgiveness -- Fiction; Memory -- Fiction
He challenged himself, denounced himself, asked himself if he were in
love with her that he should care so much what adventures she had had.
He had never for a moment allowed he was in love with her; therefore
nothing could have surprised him more than to discover he was jealous.
What but jealousy could give a man that sore contentious wish for the
detail of what would make him suffer? Well enough he knew indeed that he
should never have it from the only person who to-day could give it to
him. She let him press her with his sombre eyes, only smiling at him
with an exquisite mercy and breathing equally little the word that would
expose her secret and the word that would appear to deny his literal
right to bitterness. She told nothing, she judged nothing; she accepted
everything but the possibility of her return to the old symbols.
Stransom divined that for her too they had been vividly individual, had
stood for particular hours or particular attributes—particular links in
her chain. He made it clear to himself, as he believed, that his
difficulty lay in the fact that the very nature of the plea for his
faithless friend constituted a prohibition; that it happened to have come
from _her_ was precisely the vice that attached to it. To the voice of
impersonal generosity he felt sure he would have listened; he would have
deferred to an advocate who, speaking from abstract justice, knowing of
his denial without having known Hague, should have had the imagination to
say: “Ah, remember only the best of him; pity him; provide for him.” To
provide for him on the very ground of having discovered another of his
turpitudes was not to pity but to glorify him. The more Stransom thought
the more he made out that whatever this relation of Hague’s it could only
have been a deception more or less finely practised. Where had it come
into the life that all men saw? Why had one never heard of it if it had
had the frankness of honourable things? Stransom knew enough of his
other ties, of his obligations and appearances, not to say enough of his
general character, to be sure there had been some infamy. In one way or
another this creature had been coldly sacrificed. That was why at the
last as well as the first he must still leave him out and out.
CHAPTER IX.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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