Death -- Fiction; Forgiveness -- Fiction; Memory -- Fiction
This one was almost empty and the other altars were dim; a verger
shuffled about, an old woman coughed, but it seemed to Stransom there was
hospitality in the thick sweet air. Was it only the savour of the
incense or was it something of larger intention? He had at any rate
quitted the great grey suburb and come nearer to the warm centre. He
presently ceased to feel intrusive, gaining at last even a sense of
community with the only worshipper in his neighbourhood, the sombre
presence of a woman, in mourning unrelieved, whose back was all he could
see of her and who had sunk deep into prayer at no great distance from
him. He wished he could sink, like her, to the very bottom, be as
motionless, as rapt in prostration. After a few moments he shifted his
seat; it was almost indelicate to be so aware of her. But Stransom
subsequently quite lost himself, floating away on the sea of light. If
occasions like this had been more frequent in his life he would have had
more present the great original type, set up in a myriad temples, of the
unapproachable shrine he had erected in his mind. That shrine had begun
in vague likeness to church pomps, but the echo had ended by growing more
distinct than the sound. The sound now rang out, the type blazed at him
with all its fires and with a mystery of radiance in which endless
meanings could glow. The thing became as he sat there his appropriate
altar and each starry candle an appropriate vow. He numbered them, named
them, grouped them—it was the silent roll-call of his Dead. They made
together a brightness vast and intense, a brightness in which the mere
chapel of his thoughts grew so dim that as it faded away he asked himself
if he shouldn’t find his real comfort in some material act, some outward
worship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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