Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Love stories; Secretaries -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
The drawler took it upon himself to instruct the waiter to find Mr. Van
Pycke, senior, and tell him that his son was in the lounge.
"Never mind," countermanded Bosworth, sharply. "I'll look him up
directly. Beastly night, isn't it?"
Every one said it was. It dawned upon them that Bosworth was not taking
his first cocktail. It was quite plain that already he had taken
several. They were unwilling to believe their senses. Buzzy _never_ got
tight! He always had said it made him dreadfully ill the next day, and a
man who is ill the next day--in that way--suffers tremendously during
the period of upheaval in the additional loss of self-respect. Be that
as it may, he appeared to have forgotten his squeamishness. Young Mr.
Van Pycke--he of the sleek blond hair and dark gray eyes--was quite
palpably drunk.
"This is the sixth for me in the last half hour," he remarked, but not
proudly, as he took up the cocktail. A spoonful or more leaked over the
top of the glass as he raised it to his lips. "Here's how."
"Six!" exclaimed the drawler. "What's got into you, Buzzy? I thought
your limit was two."
Buzzy appeared to be thinking. "Two's my limit when I'm perfectly
sober," he said sagely. He waited a moment. "Say, did you fellers see
that thing in the paper's mor--this morning about the party?"
"What party?" demanded several.
He looked aggrieved. "Why, there was only one. I haven't heard of
another. The one at Mrs. Thistlethorpe's. By Jove, that's a--a hard name
to pronounce. Didn't you see in the papers that they played a new game
between the Bridge and the pantry? Jus' before supper Mrs. This--Thissus
Miss--the same one I said before--introduced her new trained dog. It was
Willy Buttsford. Willy--the silly ass--came into the room on all fours.
She was leadin' him by a leash. Willy's got such a deuced thin neck that
her poodle's diamond-studded collar fits'm all right. Then she had him
beg for candy, roll over an' play dead, jump over her leg, and--say, he
almost broke his nose doin' that! Awful mess he made of himself,
slippin' on the rug. He closed the show by tellin' the age of every
woman present, barkin' the numbers. I thought I'd die of fatigue when he
gave Mrs. Thisum--ahem!--when he gave _her_ age. He thought it would be
smart to run it up into the hundreds. The dam' fool barked for three
quarters of an hour without stoppin'! I never was so disgusted in my
life. Thass--that's why I'm gettin' full to-night."
"I don't see why _you_ should get full," said Sticky.
"Sticky, you _would_ see if you knew the horrible thought that's been
botherin' me all day. Mos' dreadful thought."
"What is it?"
"It occurred to me that, next thing I know, I'll be doin' some idiotic
trick like that. I've got a feelin'--an awful feelin'--that I won't be
able to get out of it. Some woman'll want me to play a cow, or a goat,
or a crocodile, sure's your're born, and I'll be _it_. Awful thought!"
Everybody laughed but Bosworth. He flushed and looked very much hurt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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