D. M. WELLS on returning home one evening found his room in a somewhat disjointed condition. The bed was taken apart, pillows tacked to the wall, and books, clothes, ladies’ photos and old suspenders heaped up in artistic fashion on the floor. He thought the place was struck by lightning, but was informed that it was the work of a couple of friends who had called to see him. The servant girl has a gun loaded. So beware, Cooley. Wells says home coming is not pleasant when you have to climb through the transom to get into your room. * * * * * For the Johnson & Johnson excursion Brown is going to have his whiskers trimmed, Manville is having his voice scoured; Joe is going to wear his new white hat; Gifford is going to have his hair cut so as to disguise himself; Morse and his extra eyes will be there too; Clarey says I am going if my fair one does too. Thum is going to have his trousers pressed and his hair banged. Sherman is going to put glucose on his mustache to swap for cold sores. Cooley says, no, thanks, I have had the grip twice this year: no cold sores in mine. Dalton is going to try and keep awake during the entire trip. The things which are troubling the students: First--Is New Brunswick a prohibition town? Second--Is there to be any acts between the drinks? Third--How many slices of ham between New Brunswick sandwiches? Messrs. Steihener, Scharnibon and Koerber have been appointed by section one a committee to furnish sauer kraut for that section while on the excursion. All the boys they will be there, Vanderbeck will comb his hair, Kneuper will flirt with the ladies sweet, While Ferguson cries, when do we eat? Roberts will bring in his tambourine, Watling will sing when he is not seen; Bricks will be placed in easy reach In case he is discovered making such a breach. Flick will make a mash I am sure, While on that plaster hunting tour: For who could resist such charming eyes, When on them Flicky only tries. Boenke will give a song and dance, McClellan will go quietly off in a trance, The Heffley boys will spin some jokes, Which are rivals in age of the mighty Oaks. * * * * * MR. H. E. COOLEY, who had a slight attack of the grip, is around again to the rejoicing of his many friends. * * * * * The action of the class in requiring its candidates for Valedictorian to enter a speaking contest to determine their fitness, meets with the general approval of all its members. * * * * * MANVILLE admitted that he was Hazy. How about replacing that H with L. * * * * * AN INSTRUCTIVE TRIP. A very entertaining and instructive visit was made by a number of students of the senior class, on Saturday, Jan. 12th, to the Mineral Water Works of Dr. Carl H. Schultz.