Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
She was alone with the ashes—alone before she could take half a breath.
Then she went after Mulberry Sellers, purposing to make short work of
his program, whatever it might be; “for,” said she, “when his
sentimentals are up, he’s a numskull, and there’s no knowing what
extravagance he’ll contrive, if you let him alone.” She found him. He
had found the flag and was bringing it. When she heard that his idea
was to have the remains “lie in state, and invite the government and
the public,” she broke it up. She said:
“Your intentions are all right—they always are—you want to do honour to
the remains, and surely nobody can find any fault with that, for he was
your kin; but you are going the wrong way about it, and you will see it
yourself if you stop and think. You can’t file around a basket of ashes
trying to look sorry for it and make a sight that is really solemn,
because the solemner it is, the more it isn’t—anybody can see that. It
would be so with one basket; it would be three times so with three.
Well, it stands to reason that if it wouldn’t be solemn with one
mourner, it wouldn’t be with a procession—and there would be five
thousand people here. I don’t know but it would be pretty near
ridiculous; I think it would. No, Mulberry, they can’t lie in state—it
would be a mistake. Give that up and think of something else.”
So he gave it up; and not reluctantly, when he had thought it over and
realized how right her instinct was. He concluded to merely sit up with
the remains just himself and Hawkins. Even this seemed a doubtful
attention, to his wife, but she offered no objection, for it was plain
that he had a quite honest and simple-hearted desire to do the friendly
and honourable thing by these forlorn poor relics which could command
no hospitality in this far off land of strangers but his. He draped the
flag about the baskets, put some crape on the door-knob, and said with
satisfaction:
“There—he is as comfortable, now, as we can make him in the
circumstances. Except—yes, we must strain a point there—one must do as
one would wish to be done by—he must have it.”
“Have what, dear?”
“Hatchment.”
The wife felt that the house-front was standing about all it could well
stand, in that way; the prospect of another stunning decoration of that
nature distressed her, and she wished the thing had not occurred to
him. She said, hesitatingly:
“But I thought such an honour as that wasn’t allowed to any but very
_very_ near relations, who—”
“Right, you are quite right, my lady, perfectly right; but there aren’t
any nearer relatives than relatives by usurpation. We cannot avoid it;
we are slaves of aristocratic custom and must submit.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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