Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
So he would presently be required to sleep with some stranger! The
thought of it made him sick. Mrs. Marsh, the landlady, was very
friendly and hoped he would like her house—they all liked it, she said.
“And they’re a very nice set of boys. They carry on a good deal, but
that’s their fun. You see, this room opens right into this back one,
and sometimes they’re all in one and sometimes in the other; and hot
nights they all sleep on the roof when it don’t rain. They get out
there the minute it’s hot enough. The season’s so early that they’ve
already had a night or two up there. If you’d like to go up and pick
out a place, you can. You’ll find chalk in the side of the chimney
where there’s a brick wanting. You just take the chalk and—but of
course you’ve done it before.”
“Oh, no, I haven’t.”
“Why, of course you haven’t—what am I thinking of? Plenty of room on
the Plains without chalking, I’ll be bound. Well, you just chalk out a
place the size of a blanket anywhere on the tin that ain’t already
marked off, you know, and that’s your property. You and your bed-mate
take turnabout carrying up the blanket and pillows and fetching them
down again; or one carries them up and the other fetches them down, you
fix it the way you like, you know. You’ll like the boys, they’re
everlasting sociable—except the printer. He’s the one that sleeps in
that single bed—the strangest creature; why, I don’t believe you could
get that man to sleep with another man, not if the house was afire.
Mind you, I’m not just talking, I know. The boys tried him, to see.
They took his bed out one night, and so when he got home about three in
the morning—he was on a morning paper then, but he’s on an evening one
now—there wasn’t any place for him but with the iron-moulder; and if
you’ll believe me, he just set up the rest of the night—he did, honest.
They say he’s cracked, but it ain’t so, he’s English—they’re awful
particular. You won’t mind my saying that. You—you’re English?”
“Yes.”
“I thought so. I could tell it by the way you mispronounce the words
that’s got a’s in them, you know; such as saying loff when you mean
laff —but you’ll get over that. He’s a right down good fellow, and a
little sociable with the photographer’s boy and the caulker and the
blacksmith that work in the navy yard, but not so much with the others.
The fact is, though it’s private, and the others don’t know it, he’s a
kind of an aristocrat, his father being a doctor, and _you_ know what
style _that_ is—in England, I mean, because in this country a doctor
ain’t so _very_ much, even if he’s _that_. But over there of course
it’s different. So this chap had a falling out with his father, and was
pretty high strung, and just cut for this country, and the first he
knew he had to get to work or starve. Well, he’d been to college, you
see, and so he judged _he_ was all right—did you say anything?”
“No—I only sighed.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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