Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Yes, you confess. That puppy, that shame to his birth and caste, who
holds all hereditary lordships and privilege to be usurpation, all
nobility a tinsel sham, all aristocratic institutions a fraud, all
inequalities in rank a legalized crime and an infamy, and no bread
honest bread that a man doesn’t earn by his own work—_work_, pah!”—and
the old patrician brushed imaginary labor-dirt from his white hands.
“You have come to hold just those opinions yourself, I suppose,”—he
added with a sneer.
A faint flush in the younger man’s cheek told that the shot had hit and
hurt; but he answered with dignity:
“I have. I say it without shame—I feel none. And now my reason for
resolving to renounce my heirship without resistance is explained. I
wish to retire from what to me is a false existence, a false position,
and begin my life over again—begin it right—begin it on the level of
mere manhood, unassisted by factitious aids, and succeed or fail by
pure merit or the want of it. I will go to America, where all men are
equal and all have an equal chance; I will live or die, sink or swim,
win or lose as just a man—that alone, and not a single helping gaud or
fiction back of it.”
“Hear, hear!” The two men looked each other steadily in the eye a
moment or two, then the elder one added, musingly, “Ab-so-lutely
cra-zy—ab-solutely!” After another silence, he said, as one who, long
troubled by clouds, detects a ray of sunshine, “Well, there will be one
satisfaction—Simon Lathers will come here to enter into his own, and I
will drown him in the horsepond. The poor devil—always so humble in his
letters, so pitiful, so deferential; so steeped in reverence for our
great line and lofty-station; so anxious to placate us, so prayerful
for recognition as a relative, a bearer in his veins of our sacred
blood—and withal so poor, so needy, so threadbare and pauper-shod as to
raiment, so despised, so laughed at for his silly claimantship by the
lewd American scum around him—ah, the vulgar, crawling, insufferable
tramp! To read one of his cringing, nauseating letters—well?”
This to a splendid flunkey, all in inflamed plush and buttons and
knee-breeches as to his trunk, and a glinting white frost-work of
ground-glass paste as to his head, who stood with his heels together
and the upper half of him bent forward, a salver in his hands:
“The letters, my lord.”
My lord took them, and the servant disappeared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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