Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Well, I should say so! There’s Siberia with just the very finest and
choicest material on the globe for a republic, and more coming—more
coming all the time, don’t you see! It is being daily, weekly, monthly
recruited by the most perfectly devised system that has ever been
invented, perhaps. By this system the whole of the hundred millions of
Russia are being constantly and patiently sifted, sifted, sifted, by
myriads of trained experts, spies appointed by the Emperor personally;
and whenever they catch a man, woman or child that has got any brains
or education or character, they ship that person straight to Siberia.
It is admirable, it is wonderful. It is so searching and so effective
that it keeps the general level of Russian intellect and education down
to that of the Czar.”
“Come, that sounds like exaggeration.”
“Well, it’s what they say anyway. But I think, myself, it’s a lie. And
it doesn’t seem right to slander a whole nation that way, anyhow. Now,
then, you see what the material is, there in Siberia, for a republic.”
He paused, and his breast began to heave and his eye to burn, under the
impulse of strong emotion. Then his words began to stream forth, with
constantly increasing energy and fire, and he rose to his feet as if to
give himself larger freedom. “The minute I organize that republic, the
light of liberty, intelligence, justice, humanity, bursting from it,
flooding from it, flaming from it, will concentrate the gaze of the
whole astonished world as upon the miracle of a new sun; Russia’s
countless multitudes of slaves will rise up and march, march!—eastward,
with that great light transfiguring their faces as they come, and far
back of them you will see-what will you see?—a vacant throne in an
empty land! It can be done, and by God I will do it!”
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He stood a moment bereft of earthly consciousness by his exaltation;
then consciousness returned, bringing him a slight shock, and he said
with grave earnestness:
“I must ask you to pardon me, Major Hawkins. I have never used that
expression before, and I beg you will forgive it this time.”
Hawkins was quite willing.
“You see, Washington, it is an error which I am by nature not liable
to. Only excitable people, impulsive people, are exposed to it. But the
circumstances of the present case—I being a democrat by birth and
preference, and an aristocrat by inheritance and relish—”
The earl stopped suddenly, his frame stiffened, and he began to stare
speechless through the curtainless window. Then he pointed, and gasped
out a single rapturous word:
“Look!”
“What _is_ it, Colonel?”
“_It!_”
“No!”
“Sure as you’re born. Keep perfectly still. I’ll apply the
influence—I’ll turn on all my force. I’ve brought It thus far—I’ll
fetch It right into the house. You’ll see.”
He was making all sorts of passes in the air with his hands.
“There! Look at that. I’ve made It smile! See?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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