_Poetry._--A bottle of ink thrown over a sheet of foolscap. _Politician._--A fellow that culls all his knowledge from borrowed newspapers. _Patriot._--A man who has neither property nor reputation to lose. _Independence._--Owing fifty thousand dollars which you never intend to pay. _Lovely Woman._--An article manufactured by milliners. "One wants but little here below, And wants that little for a _show_." FIRM FOUNDATION.--601. The editor of the _Albany Express_ says, the only reason why his dwelling was not blown away in a late storm was because there was a heavy mortgage on it. GALLANT CORRECTION.--602. An American agricultural society offers premiums to farmers' daughters--"girls under twenty-one years of age," who shall exhibit the best lots of butter, not less than 10 lbs. "That's all right," says a New York paper, "save the insinuation that some girls are over twenty-one years of age." HARD HEARING.--603. We know a man down East whose hearing is so hard that he broke it up and sold it for gun-flints. YANKEE MODESTY.--604. I cannot bear egotism. I never like to praise myself; but, humanly speaking, I can double up any two men in these diggings, take the bark off a tree by looking at it, and bore a hole through a board fence with my eye. But I don't praise myself. I leave others to give my character. A REBUKE.--605. A Yankee, whose face had been mauled in a pot-house brawl, assured General Jackson that he had received his scars in battle. "Then," said Old Hickory, "be careful the next time you run away, and don't look back." MONSTER PUNCH-BOWL.--606. A Kentuckian, on hearing praised the Rutland Punch-bowl, which on the christening of the young Marquis was built so large that a small boat was actually set sailing upon it, in which a boy sat, who laddled out the liquor, exclaimed, "I guess I've seen a bowl that 'ud beat that to smash; for, at my brother's christening, the bowl was so deep, that when we young'uns said it warn't sweet enough, father sent a man down in a diving-bell to stir up the sugar at the bottom." LONG LIVERS.--607. The people live uncommon long at Vermont. There are two men there so old that they have forgotten who they are, and there is nobody alive who can remember it for them. REMARKABLE SKIPPER.--608. It is said that there is a skipper in New York who has crossed the Atlantic so often that he knows every wave by sight. YOUTH INDIGNANT.--609. A lad was subpoenaed as a witness in one of the American courts. The judge said, "Put the boy upon evidence," upon hearing which young America exclaimed, "Who are you calling a boy? W'e chewed baccy these two years." DANIEL WEBSTER.--610.