Americans -- England -- Fiction; West Country (England) -- Fiction
Here now Malherb chanced upon one who sat motionless
on a bank with his feet in the mire. He turned as the other
approached, but showed no interest at sight of him.
"What lonely soul art thou?" cried Malherb; and as he spoke
he remembered that for the first time in his life he heard a
murderer's voice.
The figure revealed a strange countenance, made stranger still
by suffering.
"No man me--just a skinful of hell-fire burning itself out!
Get gone, for I poison the air around me. I never want ter see
no human more."
The speaker's awful despair had power to arrest one, himself
despairing. Malherb came nearer, and sought confidence. His
crime had shaken his nature and unsettled the tenour of his
disposition as a drug unsettles human organs. Now he thirsted to
talk.
"You can rail so loud and confess so much! And yet here I
stand; and to my misery yours, be it what it may, is the short
grief of a child to a man's abiding woe."
"Lordy, what big words! You to prattle about trouble,
stranger--ter me--ter me--a man who's touched bottom deeper
than any man since Judas hanged himself. Away you and
sorrow that can bear speech! Leave me ter burn."
An opal light from the West was in the speaker's eyes, and
they glittered green. Their dreadful expression held Malherb,
for agony far beyond the fear of death looked out of them. The
sufferer's head was bare and nearly bald; his face was
hatchet-shaped and narrow; the yellow skin seemed drawn to bursting
over his high cheek-bones; and upon his chin was a fan-shaped
and grizzled beard.
"I perceive you are an American--a lonely wretch who might
carry all his cursed country's crimes and sorrows on his own
forehead. Yet what are national troubles to a man's own? You sit
gazing and glaring. What then have you done that makes such
a night of life for you?"
"A thing Satan's self never did--a thing as would heat hell
again if 'twere cold--a thing not yet writ against any starving
ragtail on God's earth. Past hope--past praying for. And it seemed
nought until it were done; but after--it's brought me ter this.
Tell me, you who talk as if you knew big trouble, why did it seem
nought till afterwards?"
"What have you done?"
"It seemed nought till afterwards, I tell you. Then it grew up
into a mountain. The fallen angels will be took back ter heaven
sooner than me. Prayer's vain beyond a certain pass. Has life
showed you that?"
"It has. Yet what is there in your torture that can make me
unbosom mine?"
"Because 'tis the first longing that comes after crimes--to tell
'em," said the American. "So you've prayed too?" he added.
"'Prayed'? Yes, I've prayed hard and earnestly. I've
frightened my horse by night as I suddenly challenged my God. I
have dismounted and fallen upon my knees by lonely roads and
secret places. I've bruised my soul and cried aloud to the
Almighty and bade Him touch my fiend's temper and give me a
clean heart."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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