His nurse not long before had made her last visit for the night, and,
seeing him lying so still supposed, like Madge, that he was asleep, and
had gone back to the dressing-room next door, to go to bed herself. His
progress during the day had been most satisfactory, the feverishness had
almost gone, and the doctor, when the wounds were dressed that
afternoon, had been amazed to see how rapidly and well the processes of
healing were going on. Certainly there was no lack of vitality or
recuperative power in his patient, nor in the keenness and utter despair
of his mental suffering was vitality absent. That same vitality coloured
and suffused that; he saw it all with the hideous vividness of an
imaginative nature. Doubt and uncertainty, however, here were worse than
the worst that the truth could hold for him, and he called to the nurse,
who came at once.
"What is it, Mr. Dundas?" she asked. "I hoped you were asleep. You are
not in pain?"
"No, not in pain. But I can't sleep. I want to ask you two or three
questions. Pray answer them: I sha'n't sleep till you do."
She did not speak, half-guessing what was coming.
"I want to know this, first of all," he said, speaking quite quietly.
"What shall I look like when these things are healed, when the bandages
come off?"
Nurse James was essentially a truthful woman, but she did not hesitate
about her reply. There are times when no decent person would hesitate
about telling a lie, the bigger the better. She laughed.
"Well, I never!" she said. "And have you brought me from my bed just to
ask that! I never heard such a thing. Why, you will look as you always
have looked, Mr. Dundas, but your eyelids will be shut."
The good, kind woman suddenly felt that the ease with which all this
came to her was almost appalling. She was a glorious liar, and had never
known it till now.
"Why, bless you," she went on, "your wife was in here when your face was
dressed to-day, and--you were still under morphia, you know, and did not
know she was there--and she said to Dr. Inglis: 'Why, he only looks as
if he was asleep.'"
"She has seen me, then?" asked Evelyn eagerly. "She has seen my face?"
"Why, of course, and she bent and kissed it, just as your wife should
do. There's a brave woman now. Is that all, sir?"
Evelyn gave one great sigh of relief.
"Yes, nurse," he said. "I am sorry I disturbed you. Yet I assure you it
was worth while. I can't tell you how you have relieved me. I
thought--oh, my God! it is not hell after all."
She arranged the bedclothes about him, and though she had been so glib,
she could not now speak at once.
"There, then; you'll go to sleep, won't you, now you know that," she
said. "But to think of you worrying here all these hours!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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