This morning he felt within himself a sudden accession of strength; his
long sleep-acting with his extraordinary recuperative powers, had set
fresh tides of vitality on the flow. Something had happened lately which
in spite of all, interested him--ah, yes, the gradual compensating
sensitiveness in his hands. He had played a whole _partie_ of picquet
with Madge, using those cards with raised indexes. The _partie_ had only
taken an hour--not bad for a beginning; to-day perhaps he would be a
little quicker. To-day also these bandages that worried him with their
close-clinging, sticky feeling would be removed, and with regard to them
he could not help half-thinking that when they were gone, some light,
however dim, must reach him. Surely the blackness would become a sort of
grey. It was unreasonable, he knew well, but he could not help feeling
that it must be so. But the fact that he thought about the picquet he
had played and the greater celerity with which he was going to play it,
even the idea, which he himself knew to be purely imaginary, that he
would not feel so terribly alone and in the dark when these bandages
were removed, all pointed one way: he looked, or tried to look, forward
instead of brooding backwards. And in such matters, as indeed in all
others, the will is the deed, provided only that the will be undivided.
So for the time the utter blackness of his waking moments was gone, the
tiny things of life, as well as life's ultimate possibilities, still
retained their interest, and while he waited for his breakfast, he kept
feeling with his nimble, hovering hands at all objects within reach: the
woolliness of the blankets, the cool texture of the sheets, a certain
slipperiness of counterpane, which eventually he determined to be
silk-covered. Then there was wall-paper above his head; there was a
pattern on that, and with both hands he traced his way up the slight
raising of the design, stopping often, visualising to himself what the
picture of the course of his fingers would be like.... There was a spray
of some sort; it branched to the left and ended in narrow, slender
leaves. On the right it went higher before it branched; there were
leaves there, too, and above again there started a stem like the one he
had traced a minute before. Yes; it repeated here, for first to the left
went out a thinner stem with narrow leaves; then again to the right it
branched, and narrow leaves forked out from it. He had seen it, of
course, before, on the evening he arrived here, but he could not
remember it from that.... Thin stem and narrow leaves--ah, a Morris
paper of willow twigs! But the feeling fingers had given it him; without
this exploration he could not have known it.
This was an enormous advance, and, without pause, for he instinctively
knew the step that came through the dressing-room adjoining, he called
out:
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