To Philip somehow she could pour out her heart in a way she could
scarcely have done to anyone else, for the knowledge of what he had been
through and of the bitterness from which he had emerged so unembittered
threw open the golden gates of sympathy, and she spoke without reserve.
She told him of the myriad dangers and difficulties that faced them, of
the loss Evelyn had sustained which she could not yet estimate, which
he, too, was only just beginning to realise, and which for a long time
yet to come must daily grow more real to him. She spoke quite frankly,
yet never without the utter sinking of herself, which is love, of his
moods and transitions from boyish cheerfulness to a sort of dumb
despair. She spoke finally of her first mortal horror when she saw his
face, and her dread lest that should suddenly overmaster her, so that
she should shrink from him and he should see it.
"But it is he," she said, "whom I tremble for. He can stand it to-day,
he will be able to stand it to-morrow, and for a week perhaps, or a
month. But will it get easier for him to bear or more difficult? He
can't stand much more. He will break."
"Ah, you mustn't think about that," said Philip. "It is no use adding up
the sorrow and the pain that may be in front of one. One is meant just
to bear the burden of the moment, and, God knows, it is heavy enough for
you and him. Face difficulties as they arise, Madge, don't make a sum of
them and say the total is intolerable."
He paused a moment.
"And let me bear all that you can shift on to me," he said. "Because
otherwise, you see, my coming here will be purposeless. And I hate,
being a practical person, doing useless things."
TWENTY-THIRD
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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