12th Month, 1808. "I fear I have not sufficiently this week, wrestled for the blessing of peace. I am sensible of having the power of pleasing, of having stronger natural powers and more acquirements than most women,--I am conscious too, of having with all my might, sought that which is highest, and that my heart has been made willing to sacrifice all for the attainment of it, and wonders have I already known; if I do not now diligently seek that which can make me feelingly ascribe all the glory, where alone it is due, fruitless must all my talents be, and great my fall." 12th Month, 12th, 1808. "--- came, the conversation in the evening, softened my heart in the deduction I drew from it, of what a prize was our possession,--how anchorless the world seemed to be,--and I loved dear Friends!" 2nd Month, 9th, 1809. "Twenty-two years old. Through the mercy of everlasting kindness, great is the change that this year has wrought in me; the power of Love has enticed me to begin that spiritual journey which leads to the promised land: I have left, by His guidance and strength, the bondage of Egypt, and have seen His wonders in the deep. May the endeavour of my life be, to keep close to that Angel, who can deliver us through the trials and dangers of the wilderness of this world. I have not studied much this year, yet I have almost every day read a little, and never was my sight so clear into the intellectual world. The works of the head may, I believe, usefully occupy such portions of time as are not necessary for discharging our relationship in society. * * * But above all things be humble, which a love of all perfection is, I believe, not only consistent with, but the root of." In 1811, Hannah C. Gurney married Jonathan Backhouse, and settled at Darlington. The early years of her married life appear to have been much devoted to her young family. For a time, her journal was entirely suspended; but in 1815 she writes: "These last four years, are perhaps best left in that situation, in which spiritual darkness has in a great measure involved them; it may be the sweet and new objects of external love, and necessary attention in which I have been engaged, have too much drawn my mind from internal watchfulness, after the first flow of spiritual joy began to subside; or it has been the will of the Author of all blessing to change the dispensation, and taking from me the light of his love, in which all beauty so easily and naturally exists, to teach me indeed, that the glory of all good belongs to Him alone, and that He is jealous of our decking ourselves with His jewels."