The Arbiter: A NovelBell, Florence Eveleen Eleanore Olliffe, Lady
History
The Arbiter: A Novel
Bell, Florence Eveleen Eleanore Olliffe, Lady
Great Britain -- History -- Victoria, 1837-1901 -- Fiction; Spy stories
Lady Gore leant back with a sigh of relief. A companion like Miss Martin
makes a most excellent foil to solitude, and after she had departed,
Lady Gore lay for a while in a state of pleasant quiescence. Why, she
wondered, even supposing she herself did think too well of her husband,
should Miss Martin object? Why do onlookers appear to resent the
spectacle of a too united family? There is, no doubt, something
exasperating in an excess of indiscriminating kindliness. But it is an
amiable fault after all; and, besides, more discrimination may sometimes
be required to discover the hidden good lurking in a fellow-creature
than to perceive and deride his more obvious absurdities and defects. It
would no doubt be a very great misfortune to see our belongings as they
appear to the world at large, and the fay who should "gie us that
giftie" ought indeed to be banished from every christening. Let us
console ourselves: she commonly is.
But poor Miss Martin had no adoring belongings to shed the genial light
of affection on her doings, to give her even mistaken admiration,
better than none at all. Life had dealt but bleakly with her; she had
always been in the shadow: small wonder then if her nature was blighted
and her view of life soured. Lady Gore smiled to herself, a little
wistfully perhaps, as she tried to put herself in Miss Martin's
place--of all mental operations one of the most difficult to achieve
successfully. Lady Gore's sheer power of sympathy might enable her to
get nearer to it than many people, but still she inevitably reckoned up
the balance, after the fashion of our kind, seeing only one side of the
scale and not knowing what was in the other, and as she did so, it
seemed to her still possible that Miss Martin might have the best of it,
or at any rate might not fall so short of the best as at first appeared.
For in spite of her age she still had the great inestimable boon of
health; she was well, she was independent, she could, when it seemed
good to her, get up and go out and join in the life of other people.
While as for herself ... and again the feeling of impotent misery, of
rebellion against her own destiny, came over Lady Gore like a wave whose
strength she was powerless to resist. For since the rheumatic fever
which five years ago had left her practically an incurable invalid, the
effort to accept her fate still needed to be constantly renewed; an
effort that had to be made alone, for the acceptance of such a fate by
those who surround the sufferer is generally made, more or less, once
for all in a moment of emotion, and then gradually becomes part of the
habitual circumstance of daily life. Mercifully she did not realise all
at once the thing that had happened to her. In the first days when she
was returning to health--she who up to the time of her illness had been
so full of life and energy--the mere pleasure in existence, the mere joy
of the summer's day in which she could lie near an open window, look out
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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