The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
MME. DE LOUDAN. (_Intercepting her_) Oh, but first, Countess, let
us—the ladies and me—carry out our little plot! (_Going to_ BELLAC,
_and saying with an air of supplication_) Monsieur Bellac?
BELLAC. Marquise?
MME. DE LOUDAN. I want to ask a great favor of you.
BELLAC. (_Graciously_) The favor which you ask me becomes as nothing in
comparison with the favor you do me in asking it so charmingly.
LADIES. Oh, how lovely!
MME. DE LOUDAN. This poetic tragedy will doubtless occupy the remainder
of the evening; it will certainly prove a fitting climax!—Please say a
few words beforehand—as few as you like! Of course, Genius must not be
overtaxed! But, please just a few words. They will be received like the
Manna of old!
SUZANNE. Please, Monsieur Bellac!
MME. ARRIÉGO. Be generous!
BARONESS. We throw ourselves at your feet!
BELLAC. (_Defending himself_) Oh, ladies!
MME. DE LOUDAN. Come to our assistance, Lucy—you, his Muse! _You_ plead
with him!
LUCY. Of course; I ask him now.
SUZANNE. And I, I want him too!
VOICES. Oh, oh!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Suzanne!
BELLAC. Well, since you force me——
MME. DE LOUDAN. Oh, he will! Quick, a chair!
(_Commotion about_ BELLAC.)
MME. ARRIÉGO. A table.
MME. DE LOUDAN. Shall we make a circle?
MME. DE CÉRAN. Give him a little room, ladies.
BELLAC. Pray, no formality!
VIROT. (_To the_ GENERAL) You must be careful, the law is very popular.
LADIES. Sh-h!
BELLAC. Please, no stage-setting—nothing that—
VIROT. Well, yes—but the voters?
GENERAL. My position is perfectly safe!
LADIES. Sh-h! Oh, General!
BELLAC. Nothing to suggest the school-room, the platform, or pedantry.
Please, ladies, let it be an informal chat: ask me no questions.
MME. DE LOUDAN. (_With clasped hands_) Oh, Monsieur Bellac, tell us
about your book!
MME. ARRIÉGO. (_With clasped hands_) Yes the book!
BARONESS. (_With clasped hands_) Your book, yes!
SUZANNE. (_With clasped hands_) Oh, Monsieur Bellac!
BELLAC. Irresistible supplications! And yet I must protect myself;
until everyone shall have the opportunity of seeing my book, no one
shall.
MME. DE LOUDAN. (_With meaning_) Mm—_no_ one?
BELLAC. Ah, Marquise, “Take care! There may be a secret!” as Fontenelle
said to Mme. de Coulanges.
LADIES. Charming! Charming!
BARONESS. (_Aside to_ MME. DE LOUDAN) How clever!
MME. DE LOUDAN. He is more than clever.
BARONESS. What then?
MME. DE LOUDAN. His wit has wings; you’ll see.
BELLAC. This is neither the time nor the place, you will admit, ladies,
to plumb the depths of certain of those eternal problems and mysterious
enigmas of life and the Beyond which harass and torment noble souls,
like your own!
LADIES. Ah, the “Beyond,” my dear, the “Beyond!”
BELLAC. But, aside from this, I am quite at your service. There is one
point, however, which comes to my mind, a point eternally discussed and
never settled, upon which I ask your leave to say a few words.
LADIES. DO, do!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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